An Open Letter To The Boy Who Taught Me My Worth

An Open Letter To The Boy Who Taught Me My Worth

Thank You.
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views

Dear You,

You tell everyone I broke up with you for no reason, but after 3 years I had to explain to you that I was depressed and entirely unhappy with myself and could not be the person you needed in a relationship and this killed me because I loved you with every inch of me but I did not love myself. I never wanted to hurt you but you deserved so much more than a depressed, self-loathing teenager. But you only saw "we're done".

We still saw each other afterward to try and keep each other in our lives, but then things changed.

Your hurt feelings turned to anger, rage, revenge, and spitefulness. And my already broken-self shattered into pieces.

First came the angry texts full of malicious disgusting words ranging from "f*** you"s to "I know where you are, watch out."

Then came the showing up to my friend's place of work to have a "talk" and then my friend's house to "find" me.

Then came the conveniently running into you every single place I went and me being scared to leave my house because I didn't know what you wanted or what you were going to do.

I had no idea who you were, the guy I loved was gone and engulfed in a sea of rage.

Believe me, I am to blame for hurtful words I've said in response when I finally reached my limit, but I had no choice but to cut you out of my life entirely for a while to be away from the hurtful words and actions.

Then I let you back in...

"I only see you as an easy hook up now. You don't think I still love you do you?" "You're disgusting" "Why would I ever want to date someone like you?" showed up on my phone and crushed me.

You spent most of your time making sure to hurt me more than I could ever hurt you in between trying to show me how much you still care and loved me.

And now I can say you've achieved your goal.

I let you back in again and thought this one was going to be good. We both grew up, we could laugh, talk about anything, no fights, and then came the "I love you"s. Things seemed amazing again. The guy I loved was back and better than before.

Until, you got mad again. Then came the vindictive words and the yelling and the hate. The social media posts because you couldn't apologize and admit that you hurt the woman you "love" and want to "grow old with" like a man. Instead, you searched for reassurance and approval of being a coward through your friends.

It was nothing but blatant disrespect and immaturity and verbal abuse even after months of being apart. I finally broke entirely.

It was a mind game. The guy I had loved for the past almost 4 years of my life has sufficiently hurt me more than any other person I have encountered through all 18 years of my life. I had no idea who he was or where he went and it messed with my head.

But no matter what, I will always love him even when I know I shouldn't.

One day I would get "I love you Erin, I need you in my life" then the next "You're actually f****in insane you need help, I don't want you." Never has anyone said the things you have said to me or ruined me like you have.

And the saddest part is no one knows what you have done. Not your family, friends, no one. Because I still believe you are a good person but it is not fair for me to be made into a monster when you have been the malicious one.

But I have learned from you.

I cannot keep giving someone chances and control and power simply because of love. Because I've learned, sometimes love isn't enough but I've learned that I am.

I am enough.

The verbal and emotional abuse and your need to control me ended when I ended us.

You cannot tell me how to dress, where to go, who to see, what music to listen to, how to talk, or anything anymore. I am not your toy that you can call to whenever you want or need something. I am my own person

So now, I'm a strong, intelligent, respectful, driven, caring woman and you cannot take that away from me.

But thank you, sincerely, for teaching me I am so much better than the girl I used to be. Simply because I am my own person now.

The years we spent together were entirely amazing until the end and maybe that's when we became the people we truly are, but I'm happy I now know the real you. I wish you the best and I'll love you always but thank you for showing me what I'm worth.

Sincerely,

The girl who got away

Cover Image Credit: http://www.hercampus.com/love/relationships/how-finally-end-your-againoff-again-relationship

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5 Perks Of Having A Long-Distance Best Friend

The best kind of long-distance relationship.
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views

Sometimes, people get annoyed when girls refer to multiple people as their "best friend," but they don't understand. We have different types of best friends. There's the going out together best friend, the see each other everyday best friend and the constant, low maintenance best friend.

While I'm lucky enough to have two out of the three at the same school as me, my "low maintenance" best friend goes to college six hours from Baton Rouge.

This type of friend is special because no matter how long you go without talking or seeing each other, you're always insanely close. Even though I miss her daily, having a long-distance best friend has its perks. Here are just a few of them...

1. Getting to see each other is a special event.

Sometimes when you see someone all the time, you take that person and their friendship for granted. When you don't get to see one of your favorite people very often, the times when you're together are truly appreciated.

2. You always have someone to give unbiased advice.

This person knows you best, but they probably don't know the people you're telling them about, so they can give you better advice than anyone else.

3. You always have someone to text and FaceTime.

While there may be hundreds of miles between you, they're also just a phone call away. You know they'll always be there for you even when they can't physically be there.

4. You can plan fun trips to visit each other.

When you can visit each other, you get to meet the people you've heard so much about and experience all the places they love. You get to have your own college experience and, sometimes, theirs, too.

5. You know they will always be a part of your life.

If you can survive going to school in different states, you've both proven that your friendship will last forever. You both care enough to make time for the other in the midst of exams, social events, and homework.

The long-distance best friend is a forever friend. While I wish I could see mine more, I wouldn't trade her for anything.

Cover Image Credit: Just For Laughs-Chicago

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6 Ways For Men To Understand Women

The introduction. Let's face it, there's WAY more than 6.

JordynL
JordynL
702
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We know we're confusing, but hopefully this helps you understand us a little better.

1. "I have nothing to wear"

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We realize that we have a ton of clothes in our closets to choose from. We know that some things are super similar. We know that there are some things we wear all the time and other things that we NEVER wear. Regardless of the Go-Tos or "I'm saving this for a 'special occasion'" (which will probably never happen), there's always an excuse. When we say we have nothing to wear, it means that we don't have anything that we WANT to wear.

This contributes to us taking SO long to get ready. Whether it's a date, a night out with the girls, hanging out with a group, or just another Tuesday, we never have anything to wear. We try to dress to match our mood, but that's still not a guarantee. It never is. If we try something on, thinking that it'll work, there's always something wrong with it SO it goes in the reject pile. As the pile grows, we reach the "I have nothing to wear" stage.

And just to make things more complicated and annoying, we go back to the first outfit we tried on and call it good -OR resort to the Go-Tos that we wear WAY too much- (at least I normally do). We waste all that time and effort and there's usually no way to get around it.

2. Periods

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Guys, let me explain to you how a period works.

Every month, our Uterus starts decorating a nursery. "Just wanted to let you know I have everything prepared for the baby! The nursery looks great and I picked out this pretty wallpaper and I'm gonna read stories to it every night!"

Then we come around and say "Oh.. There's not going to be a baby this month.."

Uterus: ......

Us: "Oh god, please no"

Uterus: .... *trashes everything* *rips off the wallpaper* *screams like an angry baboon*

THIS gentlemen, is what we have to go through. Every time we get a cramp, it's basically our uterus stabbing us with broken pieces of the crib and twisting it. This is why we double over. This is why some (maybe most) women cry during their periods. Our uterus throws a freaking temper tantrum when we don't get pregnant.

By the time the uterus gets tired and forgives us, it goes back to setting up a new nursery with upmost excitement. And when we don't get pregnant, the cycle repeats.

Wanna know what to do? Don't make us do anything. Pamper us. Most women like to eat chocolate, so do that (for some reason, that doesn't work for me, but oh well). Have the heating pad ready to go. Ice cream. Even while we look disgusting, reassure us. The uterus' temper tantrum makes us question everything so be ready for that.

But God help you if you say the wrong thing. Most of the time, we don't know what that wrong thing will be, so tread lightly. Just do NOT say ANYTHING about PMSing. Our uterus will hear that and give us some of that hateful energy to rip you apart.

You have been warned.

3. Unsolicited dick pics

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Just don't. Despite what you think, they are NOT aesthetically pleasing.

When a girl actually asks for them and/or agrees to swap nudes, that's the only time it's okay. But if they're anything like me, the pictures still won't do anything for them. I guess it's to make y'all feel wanted and appreciated? I don't know.

If you send unsolicited dick pics, there's a pretty good chance that her girlfriends will see the pictures so be warned.

4. Hoodie Theft

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Sorry guys, there's no way to get around this one. If your girl takes your hoodie, you probably won't get it back.

And if you try to out-smart us by getting two of the exact same hoodie so both of us have one, that won't work either. You foolish mortals think we won't take the second-twinning hoodie too? HA.

5. You: "Where do you want to eat?' Her: "I don't know"

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I HAVE YOUR SOLUTION.

Instead of asking your girl where she wants to eat, MAKE HER GUESS where you're taking her. Her first guess is where y'all are going.

The code has been cracked and most girls don't even realize this sneaky trick (unless they've seen the Twitter meme).

6. The silent treatment

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Honestly... when we're giving you the silent treatment, USUALLY it's because we want you to figure out what you did wrong for yourselves. But it makes this difficult because sometimes we don't even know the reason. Stupid? I know. But we're girls. What do you expect?

We're waiting for you to come up with a solution to whatever problem we think you caused. Because we're right. Even when we're wrong, we're right.

You've probably found with personal experience that you've always found a way to screw it up and you don't even know how. She freaks out for almost no reason and usually never shares why she's so pissed off.

If you don't wanna take the chance on finding the solution because of even the slightest fear of making it worse SOMEHOW, just chill. Spend time with her, don't do anything stupid on your phone, don't play games online with the guys- just spend time with her. It'll let her know that even though she's freaking out for probably no reason, that you still care. Because what'll happen if you leave? "OH SO YOU'RE JUST GONNA GET UP AND LEAVE?"

You guys are honestly in a lose-lose situation and I feel for y'all so much. If you know her well enough to leave and let her calm down, then go for it- at your own risk. Just handle the situation calmly and be like "if you need anything, just call or text me. I'll be there."

DO NOT TELL HER TO CALM DOWN, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

Just give her space SOMEHOW and let her chill. She'll more than likely be over it the next day.

I know this whole thing is giving you mixed messages on what to do, but honestly we don't really know what we want you guys to do, so there you go.

This may help, this may not, but it's a decent start. :)

JordynL
JordynL

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