An Open Letter To The Boy Who Taught Me My Worth

An Open Letter To The Boy Who Taught Me My Worth

Thank You.
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Dear You,

You tell everyone I broke up with you for no reason, but after 3 years I had to explain to you that I was depressed and entirely unhappy with myself and could not be the person you needed in a relationship and this killed me because I loved you with every inch of me but I did not love myself. I never wanted to hurt you but you deserved so much more than a depressed, self-loathing teenager. But you only saw "we're done".

We still saw each other afterward to try and keep each other in our lives, but then things changed.

Your hurt feelings turned to anger, rage, revenge, and spitefulness. And my already broken-self shattered into pieces.

First came the angry texts full of malicious disgusting words ranging from "f*** you"s to "I know where you are, watch out."

Then came the showing up to my friend's place of work to have a "talk" and then my friend's house to "find" me.

Then came the conveniently running into you every single place I went and me being scared to leave my house because I didn't know what you wanted or what you were going to do.

I had no idea who you were, the guy I loved was gone and engulfed in a sea of rage.

Believe me, I am to blame for hurtful words I've said in response when I finally reached my limit, but I had no choice but to cut you out of my life entirely for a while to be away from the hurtful words and actions.

Then I let you back in...

"I only see you as an easy hook up now. You don't think I still love you do you?" "You're disgusting" "Why would I ever want to date someone like you?" showed up on my phone and crushed me.

You spent most of your time making sure to hurt me more than I could ever hurt you in between trying to show me how much you still care and loved me.

And now I can say you've achieved your goal.

I let you back in again and thought this one was going to be good. We both grew up, we could laugh, talk about anything, no fights, and then came the "I love you"s. Things seemed amazing again. The guy I loved was back and better than before.

Until, you got mad again. Then came the vindictive words and the yelling and the hate. The social media posts because you couldn't apologize and admit that you hurt the woman you "love" and want to "grow old with" like a man. Instead, you searched for reassurance and approval of being a coward through your friends.

It was nothing but blatant disrespect and immaturity and verbal abuse even after months of being apart. I finally broke entirely.

It was a mind game. The guy I had loved for the past almost 4 years of my life has sufficiently hurt me more than any other person I have encountered through all 18 years of my life. I had no idea who he was or where he went and it messed with my head.

But no matter what, I will always love him even when I know I shouldn't.

One day I would get "I love you Erin, I need you in my life" then the next "You're actually f****in insane you need help, I don't want you." Never has anyone said the things you have said to me or ruined me like you have.

And the saddest part is no one knows what you have done. Not your family, friends, no one. Because I still believe you are a good person but it is not fair for me to be made into a monster when you have been the malicious one.

But I have learned from you.

I cannot keep giving someone chances and control and power simply because of love. Because I've learned, sometimes love isn't enough but I've learned that I am.

I am enough.

The verbal and emotional abuse and your need to control me ended when I ended us.

You cannot tell me how to dress, where to go, who to see, what music to listen to, how to talk, or anything anymore. I am not your toy that you can call to whenever you want or need something. I am my own person

So now, I'm a strong, intelligent, respectful, driven, caring woman and you cannot take that away from me.

But thank you, sincerely, for teaching me I am so much better than the girl I used to be. Simply because I am my own person now.

The years we spent together were entirely amazing until the end and maybe that's when we became the people we truly are, but I'm happy I now know the real you. I wish you the best and I'll love you always but thank you for showing me what I'm worth.

Sincerely,

The girl who got away

Cover Image Credit: http://www.hercampus.com/love/relationships/how-finally-end-your-againoff-again-relationship

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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views

Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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He Broke Your Heart? Don't Get Revenge, Keep It Classy

This is your reminder

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Okay, so he broke your heart, he left you without a second thought and he never looked back. He left you broken and confused. You are hurting and will do anything to numb the pain, but you also want him to feel the same pain you are feeling.

You want him to regret his decision, to realize what he is missing, that nobody is as good as you. You want him to realize that he lost the best thing that he will ever have.

The best way to make him regret losing you is by showing him how strong and confident you are. The best thing to do is to do what you do best, and that is to be yourself. Continue to move on with your life. Work hard at work and in school. Make him notice your success.

Do not be the girl who stays in her pajamas, can't get out of bed and crying over him on a daily basis. As hard as it is, you need to pick yourself up and move on.

If he sees that you are able to continue on with your life, he will regret his decision even more. It will hurt him to know that you were able to move on without a second thought. Leave him wondering. Make him think that you are not shaken by losing him.

In reality, you are broken and hardly able to put one foot in front of the other, but he doesn't need to know that.

Your silence will be the best revenge there is.

Do not call him or contact him in any way. If he really cares, if he really wants you, he will come back to you.

If he is the one for you, if he is the man that you are meant to marry and spend the rest of your life with, he will come back to you. If he is not meant for you, then someone better will come along. But until then, be the best version of yourself you can be.

When your heart is broken, it is easy to be petty. You want him to feel bad for hurting you. You want him to hurt as much as he hurt you. You want him to realize his mistake, and you will do whatever it takes to make him feel that way. You post on social media, talk to his friends, you try to get any information on him that you can because it kills you inside to think that he could be fine with losing you.

The best thing to do is leave it in the past, focus on yourself and realize that everything happens for a reason and your prince will come. It takes patience. Show him and everyone else how strong you are by keeping it classy and showing him how classy you are will make him rethink his decision.

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