Dear Guy I Dreamt Up Or Something,

I really don't like you. The reason I say I don't like you isn't because I truly dislike you. It's because I wish I didn't like you as much as I do. I'm crazy about you in actuality.

I've always prided myself in being the girl who doesn't need a guy to give her joy or purpose. I've always been content in life by only focusing on myself, and what's truly important in life. Then you came around and I don't even know what to do with myself anymore. You're literally going through my mind so much during the day that it begins to frighten me.

I've always been good at avoiding catching feelings because I rather save my heart from the heartache. Then you came around and liking you is completely inevitable. I hate to find myself in this position, that I haven't been in, in so long. I'll admit I'm extremely scared and trying to fight these feelings. It feels like liking you may even be one of the deadly sins because I know It'll only end up devastating for me. How can something that feels so wrong, also feel so right?

I know I know I know, that you're nothing like the other guys. I believe that one with all of my heart. Knowing your mindset on life make me sure you're a good one. I know you and have faith in you. I'm not worried about you breaking my heart, I'm worried about me breaking my own heart by falling for you.

I avoid liking you because I feel like I will never be enough for you, or you'll never interested. It's so hard not to fall for you, whenever I look at you I know God made you, and he made a work of art when he made you. Your smile might be the most addictive drug to me. It's all about the way you laugh when you're amused, to seeing the determination you have when you're passionate about something. It's all so beautiful. Every moment spent with you I can feel God's wisdom and love through your presence. You bring the absolute best out of me.

I have no idea how you feel towards me. Some days it feels like you feel what I feel. I just don't want to be the idiot girl who leads herself on, and blames the guys for being kind to her.

I don't expect anything from you. I can't. These are my feeling, even if they're feelings I don't necessarily want. I'll learn to live with them

I'm going to push my feelings to the side and make sure you never know of this, why? Because I respect you. I don't want to ruin this. Neither do I want you to look at me any differently if you don't feel the same way.What we have is an amazing thing. You're always here to listen to me complain about my day and uplift me. If I am ever conflicted with something you always know the right things to say, and you share your wisdom with me. How couldn't I like you? It's nearly impossible. I thank God for you every night. You're the kind of guy I've always prayed to meet. When I do find him, If he's not you, I hope he's as great as you are. You're also the kind of guy I'd rather have in my life as just a friend, then to not have in my life at all. Even though it would be nice to have you be more than that. I've realized that sometimes the connection means more than the title and if it comes down to that I'm willing to do that for the sake of us.