Dear Boy Who's No Good For Me,
Why do I keep going back to you? Why are you still the one I think of during every Taylor Swift song whether it's about how much I love you or how much I hate you? I want to get rid of you but you know what they say, sometimes we want things that we know we shouldn't.
Sometimes, I wish you wanted me as much as I want you. You treat me like I'm disposable, yet every time I leave, you want me back again. The crazy part is that I let you push me away and pull me back in again every single time.
Sometimes, I wish we could have the good times all the time. Because when things are good with you, they're amazing. But then, out of nowhere, things change and you are the opposite of the sweet, caring boy you were before. I wish you could be that boy more often.
Sometimes, I wish I would listen to my friends when they tell me not to go back to you for the millionth time. I hate myself a little bit more every time I tell them, "You don't know him like I do." Sometimes I wish you would spend more time with my friends so they could know you like I do, and not just as the boy that always breaks my heart.
Sometimes, I wish I could spend time with some other boy without comparing him to you. At some point, I have to accept that I will never find another you. Maybe I don't want to.
Sometimes, I wish I could think about my future without thinking about how you fit in to it. I should be able to live out my dreams without having to adjust them to leave room for the hope that you'll be in my life. I wish you weren't the one that I want to share my accomplishments with.
Sometimes, I wish I didn't care about you so much. I wish I didn't know how vulnerable you really are so I wouldn't have to worry so much.
Sometimes, I wish I could hate you for longer than five minutes. I wish I didn't always look to you for approval even when I'm furious with you.
Sometimes, I wish I didn't need you so much. I wish you weren't the person that I want to tell everything and the one I want to spend all my time with. Eventually, you'll either realize that I'm worth your time or I'll realize that you're not worth mine. And in the end, I'd do it all again.
