I don't even know where to begin this letter. There are about one million things I would like to say to you. Why did you lie to me for the last six months of our relationship? Why did you make me feel as if I had done something wrong when really you had just fallen out of love with me? The list goes on. I really just want you to know that you hurt me, and I'm still hurting. I'm not even hurting because we ended things. I'm hurting because I remember the person you were; you were really great, and I hope one day you'll find that awesome guy again and give some girl all the love and attention she deserves.
I also want to say thank you. Thank you for being that amazing guy for the first year of our relationship. Thank you for also breaking my heart. I think I needed to go through this to learn how to be my own person. Without you breaking my heart I would have never agreed to go backpacking through Europe for three weeks this summer, a dream that I've had for as long as I can remember. I would have never become such close friends with the girls that I have. I would've never taken so many chances in the last three months. I have had the most amazing three months of my life -- I have laughed so hard I've cried more times than I can count, I have been on countless adventures in this new city I now call home. All of the things I wanted to experience with you, but never could because there was always an excuse.
Even with all the questions I have for you that I know will never get answered, I can't help but feel sorry for you. You lost a girl who would've done anything in this world for you. You also lost a second family that is awesome in my opinion. You lost someone who stuck by you during some pretty difficult times. You also lost the person that you were somewhere along that way, and that makes me the saddest of all. It is my sincere hope that you will find yourself again.
I have realized many things since our time together ended. I wasn't the best girlfriend; there are a million things I could have done differently. You never blew me away like I wanted. I was always hoping for that something extra and I never quite found it. You did blow me away at the beginning of our relationship, but that quickly faded when we fell into our routine of simply going through the motions. I am not at all putting all the blame on you and I want you to know that (even though I highly doubt you'll ever see this). We were both young and stupid. I've also realized that our relationship taught me a lot about future relationships, like how to handle fights and disagreements and to not be so overbearing. I want to thank you for that and I'm sure my future husband will some day as well.
With this letter, I am officially closing the chapter of my life where you were the main character. I am so excited to start doing things just for me. I've been slowly working on it, but from this moment on I'm done dwelling on the past.
