An Open Letter To My Mom

Dear Mom,

Now that I am 19 years old turning 20 in a few months, I know and realize that everything you've taught, shown, and every moment we have shared together has shaped me into the person that I am today. The relationship that we have as mother and daughter is something I wouldn't trade for the world. I'm so thankful that I have been blessed with a best friend, someone who gives me unconditional love, biggest supporter, and mother all in one.

No matter how busy you were or what kind of day it was you always took care of me and put me first. Sacrificing the things you had to do so you could take me to dance, see me win my soccer games, watch me in gymnastics practice, wake up at the crack of dawn to drive me all over tristate area to make sure I got to my swim competitions, and just making sure I have a memorable childhood amazes me and still does till this day.

You always know when something is bothering me, you know just how to cheer me up and make me laugh, and no matter what you've raised me to never be afraid to talk to you and I can't thank you enough for being so open with me while I was growing up because I never wanted to be scared and think that I couldn't talk to you. Even when and after we argue, you still show me unconditional love and never give up on me.

All the times, when you would listen to me when I was having the worst day of my life, answer the phone when I would call you sobbing because my anxiety was through the roof because of the insane amount of stress, let me come home and drive to see me when I felt alone, and just let me cry in your arms because I went and was going through a terrible break up. I can forever count on you to be there for me, support my decisions, wipe away my tears, to make me feel safe, and never judge me.

Best of all, you let me be me. You protected me, but you let me be independent, such as letting me stay at friend's houses during long weekends and allowing me to take public transportation at a young age, letting me see the world, and you helped me embrace my adventurous and outgoing behavior. I hope that one day I can be as inspirational, compassionate and loving as you are because you're an amazing role model.

Growing up, you taught me to always respect myself and respect others because it will be beneficial in the long run. And you were right. You raised me to be a fighter, and not be afraid to stand up for myself no matter what the situation is, and while there have been times when I have felt beaten down, I fought to get back up and I stood up for myself. Every day you would and still tell me you love me, show that you care for me, and tell me that love is a wonderful feeling and to never forget that she'll always love me despite all my mistakes and screw ups.

As I started to get older, I became a little more difficult. From trying to establish more independence, to discovering my true self, to battling my personal struggles. There were times when I just wanted to stay in my room and shut out the rest of the world, I didn't feel anything, I wouldn't recognize myself when I would look at myself in the mirror, and just feel like I wasn't good enough for anyone or anything.

During those times, I felt like life was completely against me. I felt so alone, and I could never be able to do anything right in people's eyes. In those moments, you reminded me of my self worth, showed me the love that I needed and deserved. You allowed me to breakdown and say how I truly felt and what was going on, and you helped me believe in myself like always since day one.

While I'm aware that there are many individuals who don't have good relationships with their parents, it makes me even more grateful that the relationship we have is such a blessing. I can go on forever, but no words can explain how lucky I am to have had an automatic best friend since I was born, and that is you mom.

When I look back on my young teenage years, I regret all the times when I would tell you that I can't wait to leave so I wouldn't have to hear your constant nagging, say the most awful things to you in the heat of anger and failed to show you my appreciation and gratitude for what I have, what you have done for me me. It breaks my heart knowing that, there were times when I didn't listen to you about certain things and then I wounded up learning the hard way.

Most importantly, I will never, ever take a single second and moment I've shared with you for granted. Our relationship is one of the few things in my life that are stable, and keep me sane. God has given me the greatest gift of my life and that is having you as my mother.

I didn't know or think that it was possible to have someone as wonderful, strong, funny, compassionate, and loving as you in my life. You may not see or realize it, but you are the closest thing you can get to being perfect. You inspire me to be the best person I can be every day and I hope that one day I will be able to be as wonderful as you are.

I love you with all my heart, mommy.

Love always,

Your Little Girl