To my best friend,

There are so many words I could use to describe the emotions I feel when you continuously remain with the boy who has broken your heart numerous times. Heartbroken myself, defeated, frustrated. However, this is not a letter to tell you that I think you're making poor choices, or that your decisions are dumb (although that’s how I feel about it sometimes... sorry). This is a letter to tell you that you, my dear, deserve so much better.

From my point of view, it is so hard to watch. There is no feeling worse than waking up in the middle of the night to my phone being blown up from texts, asking for me to come over right then. There is no feeling worse that getting to your house and seeing you curled up in your mother's lap, sobbing into her as you keep repeating the words “he doesn’t love me anymore, he doesn’t love me anymore.” There is no feeling worse than holding you in my arms for the remainder of the night and listening to you cry and cry over a boy who never deserved you in the first place.

And it continues for weeks. You say you’re okay, you say you’re coping just fine. But little old me knows you all too well, and I can see the sadness in your eyes as you sit across from me at the dinner table, or when I visit you at work, or when I pick you up to go for a drive. Myself being heartbroken, I can deal with. But seeing you heartbroken, I cannot.

And just when I think it’s better, or as close to “better” as you can get, he’s back. And even without the title of a “boyfriend,” you allow him to have a hold on you that breaks my heart. You say you’re “seeing” other people, but he’s the number one priority on your list, there’s no denying that.

If I could have one wish, it would be that you would let somebody love you the way that you need to be loved.

You are so focused on filling the void in his life that you don’t realize you’re losing pieces of yourself along with it. He does not know how to love you, not even close. Heck, he doesn’t know how to love in general. You deserve someone that is willing to put their entire heart on the line. Someone that isn’t afraid to tell you how they feel. Someone that has no problem looking you in the eye and telling you how much they love you.

You can give him all the love in the world. You can be there for him 100% of the time. You can do everything in your power to make him the happiest man alive. But is he willing to do the same for you? You can sit on the phone for hours as he tells you about what he’s been working on at school, or about something he’s been struggling with, yet he has the audacity to tell you he’s “busy” and can’t be there for you when you need him.

You are so kind and so giving and so focused on making everyone else happy that you sometimes forget about yourself. And unfortunately, he’s so focused on himself and making sure he’s happy that sometimes he forgets about how you feel, too.

You should never, be with a man that can’t make enough time in his day to be there when you need him. You should never, not even for a split second, be with a man that makes you feel worthless. You should never be with a man that makes you question yourself.

You have this fire in you and a passion for people and for love and I wholeheartedly know that the man you end up with is going to be so lucky. I just hope that someday, when I’m standing up at your wedding as your maid of honor, the man you walk down the aisle to meet is a man of integrity, a man who, even if he’s never been sure of anything, is so sure of you. I hope he’s a man that has spent his life dreaming of you, and knows that under no circumstance will he let you go. I hope he’s a man that sees just how smart, loving, and beautiful you are, inside and out.

You deserve someone that is willing to cross oceans for you. Someone that is willing to go out of their way to make you smile. Someone that can say they see you being as their future, and not someone that's “still trying to figure out what he wants,” or if he wants you at all.

Whether you believe it or not, this boy is not “the one.” The man that is your destiny would not walk away in the way that he did. He would never fall out of love with you in the first place.

I know it’s hard to walk away, and it may seem unrealistic to live a life that he is not a part of, but there is someone out there that can offer you so much more than anything he has ever given you.

You have too much beauty in you to remain under the influence of someone that is only toxic in your life, and as your best friend is my responsibility to tell you that.

I love you beyond words.

-Your best friend