No matter what long-term may mean to you, it's never easy being alone after being with someone whom you thought you were going to be with forever. The nights seem to pass by longer, the days seem a little duller. When you have exciting news or something goes wrong, you remember that you can't tell them about it. You suddenly begin to realize how much time you invested into one person, and you wonder if it's even possible to have that kind of connection with another person ever again. Well, I'm here to tell you that it is possible, and that there's a whole world for you to discover now.
Don't get me wrong, coming out of a serious relationship is painful. The pain is usually all one can focus on afterwards, but there are so many great adventures and opportunities that have yet to happen. Time becomes your best friend in an abundance of ways. Time will help you heal and things become easier to do alone after a while. This gives you the chance to learn so much about yourself and find out who you really are. I spent about four years with someone and thought I knew who I was, but after breaking up I realized that I really didn't know anything about who I was. I felt the need to have someone by my side at all times, I had no idea whom to turn to when things weren't OK, I didn't know if anyone would be able to understand and love me the way my ex had. After about almost two years of being single, no one had understood or loved me the same way. I was loved better than before. My family, my friends, my mentors -- they all take the time to listen to me when things go right or wrong. They helped shape me into someone who is independent and strong. I realized that love can come in so many different forms, and they all fulfill equally. I learned that self-love after so much self-doubt is the most important. You are important and amazing and there are so many grand qualities that can only improve from here on out.
Focusing on yourself leaves room for so many opportunities. Having fun with your friends by traveling, going out, or just being weird together is an adventure in itself. Just knowing that you have people who want to make memories with you and tag you in funny memes on the internet means so much, and knowing they'll be there for you years from now just leaves room for more laughs and more stories to create. You also come to realize what you really want in a relationship. You meet new people and find that qualities you once thought were charming are not so charming anymore. You get to work for what you really want in life. Where you want to live, what you want to do, whom you want to inspire, and what changes can you make for your community are all things that don't have to be compromised according to someone else's needs. It's also quite nice to receive compliments from several random people when you're walking about your business and slaying at life. People will notice the change in your confidence. It's like finally blooming into who you were really meant to be, and things fall into place. You don't need to try to find someone to love you because the right person will already love you for you. After all, when someone notices how much you love yourself, it'll all be much easier for them to fall in love with you too.
So, being single isn't bad, and the experience you gained gives you so much insight for anything that tries to tackle you in life. You know how to love and comfort those around you, and people will learn from you. There are so many positives that come from this, and you get to write a new chapter in your life. And when you do stumble cross that special person, you know that you can give a greater love, a selfless love. Until then, you do you, boo.