Dear All Of You,

It's Justin Gordon, ya know, that guy who constantly blew up your messages because he didn't have the backbone to talk to you in person. That guy who tried rushing into a relationship instead of taking the time to get to know you and see if we could vibe together, or not. The guy who took a simple, "let's be friends" so damn personally that we don't talk at all anymore. Yeah, that guy. That's me. How you doin'?

I really don't have much to say, I just have a bunch of questions. I mean, I used to have a ton of questions. Now, I'm left with a ton of answers. I guess it doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand where you are coming from. I have so many surface level flaws, and so many underlying flaws, that I can barely function. I guess it was wrong of me to ask you to function with them, too.

I could try and paint the picture that you are shallow for not being cool with a dude who gets pumped for a WWE show in 2016. Not wanting to be intimate with a guy who gets worked up over movies and other peoples opinions on it. A guy who is so damn open about who he is that nothing is kept secret. However, it's deeper than just that isn't it?

I can understand that there is little dating appeal in a 22-year-old man-child. Dating is for people with the ability to have mature conversations or at least put up the guise of one. As much as I may try to sound smart, I'm really not all that bright. My insight into the world is very basic and strange. I try to be insightful and inspirational, but it always comes across so shallow. I'm basically a fortune cookie without the fortune. I'm just the stale-flavored cookie.

In addition, my lack of career-oriented goals and drive to do something to make actual money means no elaborate great dates or anything grand in dating me. It would always be simple and simple can get boring real fast. Also, I don't have a license. My fear driving and potentially taking a life has limited my mobility, and what girl wants to say they have to drive their bum ass boyfriend all the time?

Above all else though, I understand completely that I am a tough person to get close to. I do not think highly of myself in any way. I mean, I like me enough, but I most certainly don't love myself. I never take anything seriously because serious things scare the hell out of me. I prefer to keep things simple and fun because deep down I know that's all I can handle. I'm constantly struggling with what I want out a relationship.

I refuse to change who I am, but I wanted to make you happy. I want to please you because I can't please my self. Make you laugh because I can't make myself laugh. I wanted you to love me because I just can't do that myself. That's not how this works and it's an impossible task for me to ask of you. I have some serious work to do, personally. At this stage of my life, looking at everything, I feel as of I'm finally on the right path with being cool with the person inside of me. I still have a ways to go, but I'll get there. I've spent most of my life alone, and it's given me plenty to reflect upon and learn from. I acknowledge all my flaws and insecurities so I can own them. As harsh as some people are towards me, they aren't as hard on me as I am on myself. Basically, what I am trying to say is -- I get it.

You made the right call,
Justin Gordon.