To my dearest mini-me, annoying, baby sibling who I actually love very much,

I’m mostly sorry it took me so long to realize these things (twelve years to be exact). And trust me, I’m sure there’s so much more I should be apologizing for. But here’s a start…

I’m sorry for resenting you and the attention you got for the first few years of your life. I was so used to being the favorite that it truly caught me by surprise. It’s just because you were cuter than me.

I’m sorry for telling you that you “wouldn’t understand.” I used to hate when people used their age over me like it was something that made them better than me. So it’s only natural I did it to you a few times…

I’m sorry for giving you such horrible hand-me-downs. Gauchos, flare jeans, crocs, and an infinite collection of Hollister t-shirts. It’s not my fault ponchos were *really* in when I was your age.

I’m sorry for treating you like my own human doll. And putting makeup on you. And trying to curl your hair. And painting your nails. I just never realized playing dress up was so fun until you were born.

I’m sorry for throwing that Barbie at your head that one time sibling bonding went horribly wrong. Or that block… or shoe.. or… “Shhh you’re okay! Don’t tell mom! Pretty please! Shhhh, don’t cry!”

I’m sorry for teasing you so much. I just wanted you to toughen up a little, and prepare you for the worst-case scenario. Little kids can be cruel! And so could I. I realize now it probably got old pretty quickly.

I’m sorry for kicking you out of my room every time you tried to come in it. I’m especially sorry for the fits I threw when I found out you had been in my room without permission. God forbid. Now that I’m at college I would pay money to have you come and try and snuggle with me.

I’m sorry for leaving you behind. I know you’re doing a good job holding down the fort. Although inevitable, I’m still sorry I had to go to college. I miss seeing your chubby little cheeks every day.

I could go on and on. But I really am sorry. In the end, I look up to you even more than you look up to me. I can’t wait to see the beautiful young adult you’ll become- and are becoming- way too soon. You are my better, more innocent and responsible (at least for now) half, and I can’t wait to see what the future has in store for us. Love you more.

Xoxo,

Emma