Valentine’s Day. For some it’s the holiday that the adorable couples spoil each other with gifts or remind each other just how much they mean to each other. While for the rest of us, hopeless romantics, it’s what I like to call the holiday “which is socially acceptable to stuff your face with a tower of chocolates and not feel guilty about it.” (I’d consider it socially acceptable to eat buckets of chocolates regardless what day it is)
According to whitesmoke.com, “A hopeless romantic is an expression describing a person who has romantic notions about life. People considered to be hopeless romantics can also be described as ‘dreamers’ ‘daydreamers,’ ‘idealists’ or ‘sentimental.’”
They dream of the fairy tale ending, regardless how fantasy driven it is. (The prince/princess on a white horse, the least expected person you’d fall in love with, the enemies that fell in love with each other, etc.) They indulge themselves in romantic comedies and create fictional scenarios in their head that have at times, a small chance of happening in life. *sigh*
However, some people have pictured the boyfriend/girlfriend they are likely to end up with or at least claim to be attracted to them the most, but there is no certainty that they will automatically fall in love with them.
Falling for the 'Type’
Let’s not confuse this with the saying “love at first sight,” or “falling in love.”
According to psychologytoday.com, “the idea of love at first sight appears to be somewhat of a misnomer since it cannot reasonably be taken literally. For example, seeing Brad Pitt or Gwyneth Paltrow in their latest flicks is not a basis for loving them.. These fans may be sexually attracted to, or infatuated with, the actors but they cannot be said to love them because they really do not know them even if they know some things about them (for example, from gossip columns).”
The ‘type’ refers to the types of people you tend to lean towards as people you want to date, they’re not necessarily the people you are certain to fall in love with. Whether we want to realize it or not, we tend to be attracted to a person more than to others based on our five senses, (sight, hearing, taste, smell, touch).
According to www.more.com, ‘our ‘type’ may actually reflect a desire to date someone that’s similar to us or perhaps our idealized and romanticized self. Although scientists can pinpoint general traits that make someone attractive (strong jaw, physical fitness, etc.) studies have shown that we tend to be attracted to those who look like we do.”
Yet it’s possible that some people pick out their ‘types’ by picking out the people who are opposite of them. Where “Dr. Helen Fischer, an anthropologist and consultant for Chemistry.com, tries to do in her most recent book, Why Him? Why Her? In it, she constructs four different temperaments, based on hormones and neurochemicals, which explain types are attracted to others.” (www.more.com)
“The Explorer…is a risk-taker, seeks adventure and novelty, and is curious. The Builder ….is calm, like schedules and roles, and is conventional." (www.more.com)
"The Director….is focused, analytical, and logical, while the Negotiator has high estrogen activity, sees the big picture, and is compassionate, altruistic and imaginative. People can fall into more than one type, but Dr. Fisher contends that while couples may have similarities, they also have traits that complement each other.” (www.more.com)
A couple of my friends have different 'types' that are attracted to. Take for instance, one of my friends, who based solely on appearance, is attracted to the motorcycle-tattoo fierce type of man and the complete opposite as well, the calm blue-eyed charming type.
Whereas my other friend, has one specific type, what she likes to call the “tall, blond, and the blind,” (and that she means by that is the man that wears glasses”) Where the common characteristics between her and her type is height and both wear glasses.
Our constructed 'ideal' types vary, hence why not a lot of people could be attracted to the same person.
But he’s not her ‘ideal’ lobster
The credentials for my type is more personality based than appearance based, (yet appearance does play a factor too), where the type of guy I’m looking for has to be (besides being the honest, trustworthy type) able to put up and answer me back with sarcastic remarks (that I make).
Although we might have types, we shouldn't necessarily should limit ourselves just to our ‘types,’ but we definitely shouldn't change ourselves or the person to fit our 'types' either. There might be just the person that comes around who doesn’t fit our ‘ideal’ type, but ends up being our perfect half, or just someone who understands us best. Or how the tv show Friends said it best, “He’s her lobster.”
