If there is one thing that unites all college students, it’s their love for food. Maybe I just haven’t eaten dinner yet and having the aroma of those delicious chicken tenders wafting over is just way too inspiring and distracting for any productivity to happen. Or maybe I’m just procrastinating. Regardless, here is some literal food for thought.
1. Ketchup
Oh you know, that delicious condiment that you know deep down has next to no real tomato content but you call it your 'vegetables on a stressful day? Yeah, that frighteningly bright red condiment. You know the one. Well as it turns out, Ketchup was “ke-tsiap” back in the day and also contained no tomatoes. Oh yeah, and by the way the term ke-tsiap is Cantonese, and is written like this: 茄汁 and pronounced like keh zup.
Anyways, back to ketchup. So it was actually a fish sauce with a ton of spices, and gained popularity in China in the 17th century. It travelled into Malay and Indo cuisine, where English seamen discovered this glorious sauce and brought it back to the UK. But, the British thought this fish sauce thing was blasphemous and decided mushrooms were the way to go. Somewhere between fish sauce and mushrooms in the late 1700s, someone in New England decided tomatoes would be the perfect secret ingredient to their krabby patty of a sauce. And they were right! I’m going to spare you the boring business and profit stuff because who cares how ketchup companies started. Onto the next food!
2. Cheese
I know what you’re thinking. We’re in Wisconsin.
A bunch of you are probably from here are much more knowledgeable about this
thing. But you know what? I challenge it. I don't know if you saw this post, but
41,000 pounds (18,597 kilos) of stolen cheese was recovered by Wisconsin police
back in January, 2016. Now that's a ridiculous amount of
cheese. Even for Wisconsin. While stumbling into tens of thousands of pounds of
cheese is still a headliner, the crime of cheese theft isn’t. Cheese is the most shoplifted food in the world. You read it right.
So maybe as we read the ridicule that was the recovered 41,000 pounds of
cheese, some thief is sitting next to their digital device salivating, and dreaming of the big score that could’ve been that truckload. Better luck next
time, man.
3. Bread and Beer
You should’ve seen the look on my face when I
read that the skilled workers and elite who built the Egyptian pyramids were paid in bread and beer. I was
entirely blown away. Not because I was unaware of the marvels that are the
Egyptian pyramids, because (holy smokes!) they’re breathtaking and amazing, but
because they have figured out the key to employment (well, mostly a stretch):
to get paid in bread and beer. While I realize money had not been invented back
then, just humor me and imagine this: Walking up to your boss, telling them
you don’t want to be paid in dollars anymore, instead, you request food and
alcohol. I mean you were probably going to buy those things anyways, so why not
just skip the middle man and get straight to it? Ah, how I dream. (If anyone
actually does this, I am not liable. Do this at your own discretion).
4. Apples, Pears, and Plums
What do these things have in common? “They’reall fruits!” Yes, thank you. But that is neither interesting nor thought-provoking at all? Why are they in this article? Well, things are not as simple as it seems. Like the confusion about the elusive tomato and whether it is a fruit or a vegetable (it’s a fruit), these three fruits (tomato not included)all belong in the rose family, Rosaceae. So in light of Valentine’s Day, or whatever, how great would it be if that bouquet of roses were replaced with apples, pears and plums? I would be a hell of a lot happier receiving a gift I can eat over flowers that are already dead when you receive them, but maybe that’s just me.
Sometimes, a light-hearted read and a bit of procrastination is all one needs to kick-start the day – or end it, even. There’s no limit to when you can and cannot procrastinate. Except during midterm reading period. (Oops. Just kidding, I’m doing it too).
Regardless of what you’re doing, supposed to be doing, or not actually doing, stay curious, stay focused, but most of all… stay hungry.
On that note, it’s time I go eat dinner.
P.S. Doritos were invented in Disneyland.
