I recently started a new job a few weeks ago, and all has been going pretty well.

For the most part. I’m the only female employee on my team that has around four or five other guys, and I’m also the youngest in the entire office at 18 years old. I like to view these circumstances as accomplishments, but I deal with my fair share of weirdness throughout any given workday.

5 minutes into being at the office, the supply manager has already sniffed me, came 6 inches away from my face to examine my jewelry, and has made multiple compliments on how great I look that day. It’s not that I can’t take a compliment, but it’s like my personal space is constantly being poked at throughout the day. I find myself laughing off things that happen and especially things that are said to me to be polite so I don’t come off as “bitchy” or “snooty.” The reality of situations like these is that it’s extremely uncomfortable to be assertive to someone in a somewhat authoritative position who is more than twice your age and making comments on your physical appearance. I’m definitely trying to be proactive in finding ways to be clear about what I am and am not comfortable with.

The rest of the office consists of a few men that I interact with daily, but don’t work with regularly. The business is sales driven, and it seems to be a common thought of a few of these guys that I need to show my skin in order to be successful. So let’s get this straight: I’m currently in 14 credit hours at Mizzou, and I spent around 40 hours of the last week and a half of my life at work and training. On top of that, I stay up well into the early AM finishing homework, readings, and making sure I get my sh*t done. Every. Single. Night. Meanwhile, 40 to 50-year-old men who barely graduated high school and never went to college are telling me that showing off my body will work better than putting the time and energy that I am into this job. Which, by the way, is the same exact job as theirs. It truly amazes me things men say to young women that they would never be okay with if someone said them to their own daughter, sister, mother, etcetera. The only real reasons any woman ever puts up with things like this is because of the pay, and not knowing how to successfully confront these kinds of comments.

Apart from the handful of creepy middle-aged men, the rest of the guys definitely make me feel like they have my back and want to help me be successful at the end of the day. I’m constantly getting their support, and someone’s always asking me if I’m okay. I think most of the men I work with have good intentions, and I’ve been told by a few of them that the owner really does look at girls like me and is reminded of his daughter, so they’re a little protective in a sense.

However, it’s just a very weird dynamic not being able to truly tell if someone is helping you out because they genuinely want to take you under their wing, or if they only want to take you to bed. I’m not saying this is true for men across the board, but from my experience guys tend to think you’re also interested unless you tell them very clear and upfront that you aren’t looking for something more. Politeness and trying to make a good impression is mistaken for flirting, and I can literally always count on something being said about how I look. Women have been dealing with these issues for countless years, and men seem to forget that there is such thing as unwanted attention. Personally, I don’t think it matters if you’re a 10 or solid 5 because your look shouldn’t equal your worth, especially at the office. Hard work will always come out on top, I just wish that was the first thing that would be acknowledged when I walked into work instead of my appearance.