I'm Only Here to Read the Comments
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I'm Only Here to Read the Comments

The pleasure in being guilty

I'm Only Here to Read the Comments

Most of us who spend at least a decent portion of the day browsing the internet on one of the billions of websites there are to choose from have all at one time or another come away felling the same sentiment. That the comments were most likely the best part of the experience.

The reason for this is obvious to those of us who are already aware. Those of us who stand unafraid and possibly even proud to acknowledge the fact that while no, we cannot tell you one piece of useful information about any of the actual websites themselves. But we can in fact tell you that yes, "the comments though," were on point.

Now if you are like me you may have your own carefully selected guilty pleasure websites that you visit faithfully and strictly just to read the comments. These websites are often used purely for entertainment purposes and usually include a comment area for visitors of the site to give reactions and even feedback regarding the content. These interactions can be either hilarious, raunchy, dirty, pseudo intellectual, mean spirited--if that’s your daily flavor—or even a combination of them all.

What is so profound about the comment section that moves us in ways other portions of our lives do not? Nine times out ten the answer is nothing. What is so provocative about the witnessing of and interaction—however distant—with a complete stranger’s stream of consciousness and random musings? Nine times out of ten the answer is everything.

This addiction, and let’s face it that is precisely what it is, probably cannot be explained in a fully rational or intelligent manner by those of us afflicted by its intoxicating lure. All we know and care about is getting our daily fix. Let’s stop kidding ourselves, who doesn’t need a shot of adrenaline to the old cerebral cortex every now and again when up against the mundane sometimes excruciatingly ho-hum existence of their current hourly set of 24?

The comment section is a place from which one can sit back and watch from wherever they choose as the masses argue back and forth about such topics as what outfit Beyoncé looked better in while announcing to the world the joy of being pregnant. Who cares if it is taking place beneath an article about Katy Perry redecorating her summer home. It is an escape where we can read about how stoned Kanye West must have been during that photo-op with President Orange Fanta. We ignore the fact the conversation occurred in the comments for a story about Elton John’s successful knee surgery. To the comment junkie, these details mean little.

The comment section has turned rambling and nonsensical chatter that more than likely has absolutely nothing to do with the story it proceeds into a veritable art form. That is its gift to the world. When unwrapped, imagine the surprise at how a conversation can change in a blink from talk of nuclear missiles and which of our forty-four presidents [as if anyone really knows] loved that they owned control over them the most. To who raises their kids better after the divorce between Brad and Angelina.

And all this wonderment took place within a comment section where the first comment happened to be from some poor guy simply inquiring if it is okay to use butter over margarine when making shortbread cookies. And the website? You guessed it, Guns and Ammo.com following a no doubt unread feature story on Clint Eastwood and his favorite movies in which he starred, but didn’t direct.

In the comment section these types of rabbit holes containing tons of tantalizing tomfoolery are quite frankly endless. And while there may not be a great deal still to be found on the world-wide web which you can remain thankful for, this is certainly one of the remaining few. Along with Amazon.com and whichever websites that feature nothing except animals doing funny, amazing, and zany things on video.

Life is the bearer of many unexplained gifts and countless guilty pleasures. This gift just so happens to be a guilty pleasure filled with countless people who are guilty of taking pleasure from talking shit and offering up pointless facts, useless and random triviality, and unsolicited opinions about everyone and everything. But isn’t it just such glorious fun? Besides we all know that when it comes to opinions that they can be kind of like. Never-mind. No comment.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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