The winter of 2014 — that was the year that I found my best friend, my other half. My ride-or-die. My soulmate in the form of a friend. We met because we shared the same music taste, and we just clicked. The twist? She lived 10 and a half hours away from me. She lived in South Carolina, and I in New Jersey. We never met face-to-face, but that does not make it any less real. Distance means nothing when somebody means so much.
We started out making small talk which quickly led to deeper conversations. We literally talked 24/7. We talked about our inner most secrets and desires. I showed her sides of me that I never dared reveal to anybody else, and she loved me regardless. Despite all my flaws and imperfections, she still stayed. She loved me even when I was at my lowest. For 10 months of my life, I shared every part of my life with this girl. We SnapChatted each other thousands of silly selfies and videos of our daily lives. We stayed up nearly every night until 3 a.m. just talking about anything and everything. Our parents even got tired of us talking about each other. I spoke to her mother, and she spoke to mine. We laughed, and we cried together. We could call each other at 4 a.m. on a school night crying hysterically, and we would stay up until we knew the other would be okay. We promised that someday, we would finally meet and break the distance. We daydreamed about the moment we would run to embrace each other, and then start crying as we held each other. That was the moment that I would finally be able to hold my best friend in my arms for the first time. It was undoubtedly the closest I had ever been to anybody.
Until one day, everything changed. Our conversations got shorter and shorter. Our long paragraphs dwindled down to a few words. She texted me one night explaining that it became evident that we grew apart, and that it’d be best if we just ended our friendship. And then, just like that, everything ended. I lost the best thing that had ever happened to me. She was gone, and she wasn't coming back. I felt like my heart had literally been ripped out of my chest. How could you just leave after almost one year of friendship? I gave this girl 10 months of my life, and she just left. She broke me, and although I've learned to live without her, it still hurts.
Were the last 10 months simply an illusion? Nothing more than just one big fabrication? Did I even mean anything to you? Did you forget what was shared? Was I ever even there?
When I told my other friend what happen, her response was, “Why are you so upset over this girl? She was only a pen pal.”
A pen pal.
Hell, maybe if she was just a pen pal, this wouldn’t hurt so much. I wish my friend was right. It would be so much easier, wouldn’t it? Because that meant that I wouldn’t have to experience the agony of losing my best friend. Nearly nine months have passed since that dreadful day, and it still hurts just the same. The wounds have yet to heal.
People are under the assumption that online friendships aren’t real friendships. I disagree. Online friendships could be just as, if not more, fulfilling than friendships with people within a 50-mile radius. My friendship with this girl was as real as friendships could get, and I have yet to find another friendship like hers.
A pen pal.
Ha, if they only knew.
