When You Fall In Love With Your Best Friend

To All The Ones I've Loved Before, Part VII

A part of me will always be in love with you, but as my best friend.

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Dear K,

We met about 3 years ago when I joined a new organization and didn't know anyone. Since I'm really talkative and most of the other members were not, I was thrilled when you introduced yourself to me.

Finally, I had someone to talk to in there!

We didn't become very close that year, but I remember you as being one of my favorite people I met that year. When we first met, there was no awkwardness at all.

We just went straight into deep intellectual conversations upon meeting each other, and I loved it!

After not seeing you for a year when I took time off of school, I was so ready to reunite with you and hear all of your success stories.

I remember exactly how I fell for you-the exact way I've fallen for every person I've ever loved.

Whenever I develop real feelings for someone, it always starts off as a friendship. Then they do one cute thing and I become madly in love with them. There is no in-between.

I fell in love with you after you got back from your math conference. I wanted to know all about it even though math makes about as much sense to me as chemistry to a toddler, but I was also interested in your experience.

As you began to explain it to me, I saw how you were filled with passion! You loved what you were doing, and that made you memorable.

As you began to explain your research, you made it...make sense. If you can make math make sense to me, you are golden.

After you explained everything to me, I noticed right away that I couldn't take my eyes off of you. You were practically glowing!

Since we only saw each other once a week, I knew waiting a week to see you would be the longest week of my life. It was like the January of weeks!

When I got to see you that week, I was more nervous than I'd been in a long time. I had flowers in my hand and butterflies that had made their way from my stomach to my bloodstream.

I probably made myself completely obvious, as I've been told that subtlety isn't my specialty.

I remember that the best day of my life. I knew we wouldn't end up together, but I was more than happy to have you in my life as one of my best friends.

You changed my life. You helped me discover what it means to be truly happy, and despite a few external circumstances, I've been going strong ever since!

I've loved having you in my life over the last 3 years, and no matter where life takes us, I will always love you (as a friend of course).

Good luck out there,

-Sarah

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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It Is OK To Have Guy Friends That Are Literally Just Guy Friends

Some of my best friends are guys and sometimes they are better friends than girls are.

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Lately, I have come to the realization that some of my guy friends are better then some girls I call my "friends". Ever since middle school, I have always had many guy friends that have always been just guy friends, and nothing more. Some girls had a problem with it back then and they still do now, maybe because they are jealous, or maybe because they feel left out. However, I decided a long time ago to keep those guy friends for reasons like...

1. They Don't Take Things So Seriously

You can always joke around with them, and they will joke around with you right back. You can be as nice as you want or as mean as you want to them, and they will always take it as joke. I think that sometimes girls have a difficult time deciphering between when you are being serious or when you are joking. Most of my guys friends tend to not things too seriously at least 75% of the time.

2. They Are Always Honest

When I need a blatantly honest opinion I always ask my guy friends (and my mom). I do this because guys do not really care about whether or not their response will make you mad. Also, guys do not think about if their answer will benefit them personally or not before they answer.

3. They Genuinely Listen To You

Not all the time. But when I am upset, they are always the ones most concerned. Some of my guy friends take over the "big brother" role when it comes to some situations. My guy friends always listen to my problems or just the same old rants I give all the time because if something is wrong, or something has hurt me, they want to know, in order for them to try and fix it.

I am not trying to say that my girl friends are not my best friends either, and I really do have the best best friend. But sometimes, it just feels good to hangout with my guy friends. Guy friends, that I have never had a romantic relationship or feelings for and they have not had for me. These guys have always been there, and for that I am grateful.

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