I have written about One Direction before in a different article about my college essay. I know it can be repetitive to talk about something you love so much and have been made fun of for so many years because of it. Some people just don't get it, it's 2016 and you would think that society would not be so empty minded about how others feel towards something. You can never be too sensitive about something you love, if someone makes fun of it, you hurt deeply inside. Those people don't know what you go through on a daily basis or what you have been through in your life. Then they ask you why you're upset and not to be so sensitive over it when in reality they're just being ignorant and don't care about other's feelings. This is something I've noticed over the past five years of being a huge One Direction fan. A lot of people do not recognize that I have not had a happy life. I have been through hell and back and I've never really shared the complete story. But I have to warn you it gets very sad very quickly and there might be some triggering things in this article.

Let's start in 2010 when the band first started out. This is when I found out about them the first song I ever heard them sing was "What Makes You Beautiful". At this point in my life I was around thirteen years old and was still going through the Bieber phase. Then I started getting bullied for the way that I looked, ever since I was a kid I always had to wear adult sizes because I was a bigger girl, I was considered morbidly obese by my doctors and I knew I was fat because that's all I ever heard out of everyone's mouth. I started getting attacked for the fact that I was wearing adult clothes at this age and they were plus size clothing. I was told how ugly I was because I had a very found fat face and bangs that made my face look even bigger. I was told I was so fat you couldn't see my eyes. Essentially, this is what I looked like around this point in time. Everyone I know now has told me that I am adorable in this picture but this is a hard picture to look at because this is where my image issues began.

Then I started middle school and went into high school and I loved One Direction more than I thought I did. My Bieber phase was gone and my wall of Bieber posters were replaced with pictures of Niall, Louis, Zayn, Harry and Liam. The posters took up my entire room, I had four walls, so in my mind if I collected posters over the next four years I would have enough to cover my walls and I did. I got called many names in school I was still made fun of for my weight and that's all that was on my mind. People were mean to me for no reason but I could at least go home and listen to my One Direction CD's I had in my room. I could listen to them on repeat sing the lyrics so loud I would get yelled at and be happy in the moment. Then the bullying got even worse and now I had rumors spread about me and people from school would attack me over Facebook and Twitter or anonymously. Now a lot of individuals will tell you "Oh just ignore them, they're hiding behind a screen. They're not real" well in my head it was real. I felt real feelings and I hated the way I looked, I hated my body and I hated myself. I hate myself more than any other person at school who claimed to hate me. Sophomore year in high school hit and I was depressed. I didn't want my family to know so I kept it bottled up and away from my friends and my family. I would freak out on them and release all my anger and hate at them. They didn't know how much I really felt like dying. Then end of sophomore year came and junior year hit. The bullying became so bad that I was self harming and lying about it. I used a razor from a pencil sharpener, which if I wasn't so scared to go that deep I could have gotten an infection. So I was asked about it one time and I lied about it and said I had fallen. This was also the point in my life where not only was I getting made fun of for my appearance I was getting made fun of for loving One Direction. Long story short, I stopped harming myself and I've been clean for a while and getting over those urges was really hard for me. My life has not been easy especially when it comes to loving myself.

Now, you're probably wondering what does One Direction have to do with this story? Well you see they were my muse, the shoulders I could hypothetically cry on when I needed to. When I felt upset my entire night of doing school work would be to One Direction in the background. When I was listening to their lyrics I felt at peace with myself and I actually felt happy. They mentioned fans that self harm and commit suicide and that they wish that they could've done something to help them from doing that. They mentioned how upset they are that people are that cruel enough to be the reason behind their fans committing suicide. That's when I stopped self harming because I imagined what it would be like if they had come to my house and saw what I was doing. One Direction would be sad and so would I. Since then my love for this band has grown and I know right now they're not together but I still have their music and I still love them very much. October 24th was the day I got my first tattoo and I was going to make it meaningful. Thus, I got "Girl Almighty" with five arrows tattooed on my forearm.

It reminds me every day that I am strong, that I am a fighter and that I am beautiful and I can love myself. It reminds me all the things they've done for me over the past few years and still continue to remind me of that. They remind me that I am the Girl Almighty and can conquer anything I put my mind to. So the next time you want to tell someone that what they love is stupid, "gay" or even just crazy think twice because you don't know what that person is going through. It's 2016 almost 2017 and I still can't believe I live in a world that stills sees liking One Direction as a bad thing because if it weren't for them I know I would not be who I am today. Liking a band does not make you any less of a person, it shows you've got passion and that is one of the most beautiful things in the world.

Think before you act on bullying and stand up for those who are being bullied. Stand up for the world and make it a better place.