Every nine seconds, a woman in the United States is assaulted or beaten. Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women — more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined. Dating violence, which is often a precursor to domestic violence, also has horrific statistics surrounding it. Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship said that a boyfriend threatened violence or self-harm when a break-up was proposed. Ladies, think about five of your female friends. According to these numbers, one of them would have experienced dating violence.
The problem, however, does not primarily rest on the number of dating/domestic abuse victims but the number of victims unable to recognize that they are in a toxic relationship and how many return to their abusive partners.
Signs of an unhealthy relationship include:
1. Extreme jealousy
2. Controlling behavior
3. Unrealistic expectations
4. Isolation
5. Hypersensitivity
6. Verbal abuse
7. Use of violence
There are no exceptions to these signs. There is no excuse, no reasoning, no justification that would make any of this acceptable. The logic of "he/she does these things because they care about me" and "I can't leave... I love him/her too much" is flawed in every single way. Do not mistake obsession with love. Do not use love as an excuse to avoid the fear of moving away from what is familiar and into the unknown.
It is not your job to "fix" someone, to "change" someone for the better. It is not your job to save someone from themselves. It is not your job to be in charge of someone else's sense of self-worth. It is not your job to forgive at the expense of your own safety and well-being, so don't make it so. Otherwise, you may find yourself caught in a cycle of violence--one which you may not recognize you are in or know how to get out of until it is too late:
On the Count of Ten
One, two,
she's black and blue.
Three, four,
she's out the door.
Five, six,
he says he's fixed.
Seven, eight,
she takes the bait.
Nine, ten,
it starts again.
