I am taking an introduction to New Testament class here at the University of Georgia in which we recently finished reading and discussing the Gospel of St. Mark. One of the several things that stuck out to me about the Gospel is how frequently the disciples misunderstand Jesus. For example, when Jesus disciples’ do not understand the parable of the sower, Jesus remarks, "Do you not understand this parable? How then will you understand all the parables?” (Mark 4:13). When St. James and St. John ask to be seated at Jesus’ left and right “in your [His] glory”, Jesus responds, “You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I drink, or to be baptized with the baptism with which I am baptized?” (Mark 10:37-38). When St. Peter rebukes Jesus for saying that He will suffer, be rejected by the chief priests and elders, be killed, and rise on the third day, Jesus, “rebuked Peter, and said, ‘Get behind me, Satan! For you are not on the side of God, but of men.’” (Mark 8:33).

Despite all of this, Jesus does not leave the disciples. He loves them and teaches them. He does not forsake them nor abandon them.

But Jesus’ disciples do abandon Him. After the Mystical Supper, Jesus and His disciples go to the Mount of Olives, with Jesus saying to them:

"You will all fall away; for it is written, `I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep will be scattered.'
[28] But after I am raised up, I will go before you to Galilee."
[29] Peter said to him, "Even though they all fall away, I will not."
[30] And Jesus said to him, "Truly, I say to you, this very night, before the cock crows twice, you will deny me three times."
[31] But he said vehemently, "If I must die with you, I will not deny you." And they all said the same. (Mark 14:27-31)

When Judas Iscariot and the crowd come to arrest Him, “they all forsook him, and fled.” (Mark 14:50) as Jesus had prophesized. The disciples abandon Jesus, even though He never abandoned them.

Interestingly enough, St. Mark gives us the particular account of St. Peter denying Jesus in the courtyard below where Jesus was being tried by the chief priests and elders:

[66]

And as Peter was below in the courtyard, one of the maids of the high priest came;

[67] and seeing Peter warming himself, she looked at him, and said, "You also were with the Nazarene, Jesus."
[68] But he denied it, saying, "I neither know nor understand what you mean." And he went out into the gateway.
[69] And the maid saw him, and began again to say to the bystanders, "This man is one of them."
[70] But again he denied it. And after a little while again the bystanders said to Peter, "Certainly you are one of them; for you are a Galilean."
[71] But he began to invoke a curse on himself and to swear, "I do not know this man of whom you speak."
[72] And immediately the cock crowed a second time. And Peter remembered how Jesus had said to him, "Before the cock crows twice, you will deny me three times." And he broke down and wept. (Mark 14:66-72)

We know from the witness of the Church and St. Luke’s book of Acts that St. Peter ends up bringing many to Christ after His resurrection, being a leader in the early Church and one of the chief apostles. But I often think we overlook St. Peter’s example of repentance after his denial of Christ.

St. Peter denies Christ both in his actions and words. But he repents¹, he changes his actions and amends his life through his tears. He realizes what he was had done was wrong and cries accordingly, being sorrowful over his actions of denying the One who had shown mercy and love to Him.

I am convinced that in a country such as the United States, the main ways in which we deny Christ are with our actions. It is easy to call oneself a Christian and not live up to how the faith “once for all delivered to the saints” teaches us to amend our lives for our salvation and benefit (Jude 1:3). It is easy to hate. It is easy to pursue worldly desires and pride. But it is difficult to love. It is difficult to pursue peace and humility. For this very reason the Orthodox Church puts the words, “Blessed art Thou, O Lord, teach me thy statues.” in so many of our hymns and services. Our hearts have become hard; only God can soften them and teach us His will.

These are all things that continue to be problems in my life that I need to repent of, and I would venture to say the same is the case for most struggling Christians. We repent by running to the God-Man, Jesus Himself, who accepted St. Peter in his repentance when he bitterly wept at his denial and David the King when Nathan the Prophet was sent to him (2 Samuel 11-12) and the prodigal son in his return to his father (Luke 15:11-32). We struggle to change by the grace of God, unceasingly poured out on humanity in ways both seen and unseen.

This work of repentance is long and arduous work. May God grant us to struggle by his grace.

1: An article on the official website of the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese states, "The Greek term for repentance, metanoia [μετάνοια], denotes a change of mind, a reorientation, a fundamental transforma­tion of outlook, of man's vision of the world and of himself, and a new way of loving others and God."