About a week ago, I walked across the graduation stage, hugged the university president and got my diploma (well, a piece of paper that says it's coming in the mail), and with that, my college days were over. This past week has been a whirlwind of uncertainty and confusion, and, frankly, an emotional rollercoaster. Some of my friends were off to grad school, some starting jobs they had lined up ahead of time, and some ... were like me. At this exact moment, I have no plan for what my life will be in the next month, year, or certainly anything beyond that. Maybe I should have gone on to grad school or applied for jobs sooner, but I didn't. And maybe that's OK. If you're also in the weird limbo of post-college confusion, here's my thoughts.
There's lots of time to have life figured out.
Maybe 22 years old is a little soon to be settled down and stable. Right now, I'm living with my parents. Also, I'm working at the same job I did before I graduated. This wasn't my plan, but I also have a lot of time to make a plan later. The reality is, the dream of graduating and immediately becoming an "adult" isn't always realistic. It's an unlikely scenario that someone graduates, moves out, starts their dream job, pays off their loans and lives happily ever after. There's plenty of time to reach these goals.
You (probably) won't ever feel totally like an adult.
Living at home or working your same old job may make you feel like you aren't as much of an adult as your peers who have moved out or gotten "big kid jobs." The reality is, I don't feel much more like an adult than I did the first time I drove a car or the first time I voted. I think the secret is that other adults just fake it really well. Deep down, we're all still 21 years old, marveling at the fact that we can buy our own wine. Feel free to keep faking it — everyone else is, too.
You don't have to get it right the first time.
There's this myth I (and maybe you also) tend to believe, that once you graduate college, you're a full-fledged adult who never screws up. The reality is, mistakes will happen. Probably often.They happen the day before you graduate, and they happen the day after, too. With or without a diploma in your hand, you're human, and you'll screw up. You may put way too much on your credit card, or move into the world's worst apartment, or find out that the perfect job actually sucks. Make the mistake, live with the consequences and pick up the pieces. You're allowed to mess up.
Don't be afraid to ask for help.
Being an "adult" (whatever that means) doesn't mean you have to do it all by yourself. There's probably going to be a time when you need your parents' help to fix your car, or help with your bills, or give you advice about your job. And you'll still need your college friends there to encourage you along the way. You can do it by yourself, but it helps to have people there to support you. You're not as alone as you might feel.
There're so many possibilities.
Right now, the whole world is stretched out before you. You can go any direction you want. And you can change your mind if and when you need to. For the first time, you are going into the world for real, as capable as you can be for right now. You are old enough to do roughly whatever you set your mind to, and young enough to bounce back from your mistakes. There're a million and one ways to start your life, and you can choose any of them.
One day (I hope?), we will look back on these times of being 22 and starting brand new as some of the most exciting times our lives. One day, we'll have our lives kind of figured out, and be settled in some place, with some career and some people. Big changes will be harder to come by, and maybe then we'll wish for these times back. So for now, embrace the mystery of not knowing what the next year holds, the excitement of making big, grown-up decisions, and all the adventures that most certainly are coming.
