Last year, if you asked me if there was only one thing that I could look forward to in college, it would have definitely been the freedom to pursue cute and mature college boys. I hate to say it, but I'm a sucker for love. I really am. I'm undoubtedly a member of the "hopeless romantics" club, but hey, at least I can admit that I am. So fast forward past senior year and the summer, I found myself falling for someone who just so happened to be an aspiring doctor. "Wow, what a catch," "damn, you're so lucky," "where'd you find him," yes, I've received all of these remarks. But the one thing I was never asked was how hard it was or how hard it would be. And honestly, I never even thought about it until I noticed how difficult things would be.
In case you didn't already know, pursuing a career within the medical field is something that is almost impossible. It takes an immense amount of time, effort, hard work, patience, resilience, support, responsibility, persistence, and so much more. From undergraduate school to huge exams, to graduate/medical school and residency, it is a life-changing decision. And to be in a relationship while trying to balance everything from academics and a healthy social life, it can be really hard. I would even go as far as to say that this is an impossible task. But it isn't truly impossible, at least not in my case.
My partner and I have been together for little over a year and we've managed to make things work, regardless of busy schedules and bumps along in the road. Here are three key tips and concepts that I've learned along the way. First off, communication is key. Yes, you've heard this a lot and seen it in tons of places, but this is crucial to a successful relationship. No matter how awkward or painful it might seem, no matter what happens, you must make sure you communicate with your partner. It doesn't matter if it's necessarily a good or bad topic, just make sure you maintain that communication. Even a simple "I'm thinking of you" or "How was your day?" is enough. It's so important to know that your partner knows that you're there to love and support him/her. The simplest way to do so? Send them a message and keep that communication flowing.
Secondly, patience is just as important as communication. You need to be patient with your partner. He/she will indefinitely be swamped with work, which means that you can't expect him/her to immediately drop everything in order to rush to your rescue. Your partner will need to dedicate the majority of the day to school, studying, and taking care of him/herself. You need to be extremely patient with your partner and understand that it's not that he/she doesn't want to spend time with you, it's just that there's not enough time in a day to spend a lot of time together. So remind your partner that he/she is loved and do your thing until he/she has time to spend with you. Go to the gym, pick up a new hobby, learn how to cook, get a job, study, etc.! And while you're making all this improvement on yourself, your partner will be making progress right next to you. We love a power couple who grows together!
Speaking of growing together, the third thing is that you both need to be extremely independent. This was honestly the hardest point for me to grasp because when I first started dating my boyfriend, I was a freshman in college who went through insane identity crises and countless breakdowns. (Press F to pay respects for my boyfriend, yikes.) The thing is, if you're not capable of standing strong and independent on your own, you're putting all that pressure and stress on your partner to be responsible for you. And that's not fair at all. Not to you and especially not to your partner.
So make sure that you're capable of being happy and satisfied with yourself. You can't rely on someone else for your happiness, especially if this special someone barely has enough time to sleep and eat. And I know from firsthand experience that there will be days when your partner won't even have time for food or sleep. So keep this in mind: you need to be a strong, independent person who doesn't need to rely on anybody for your happiness. Keep that mindset and things will be okay.
Not to leave things on a negative note, but if you're not ready for these three crucial ingredients to a successful relationship with a medical student, maybe reconsider your options. Perhaps try finding someone who lives on your college campus and has time for a full-time relationship. It's a lot of compromising and strife to be in a relationship with a medical student, especially if it's long-distance. Oh yeah, did I mention that my boyfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship? Whoops, haha. But for me, it would be a lie to say that this relationship hasn't taken a lot out of both me and my boyfriend, however, I think that it's worth it. To know that your significant other is thinking about you, despite a busy schedule or workload, is so rewarding. Just being on the receiving end of a good morning text is so wonderful. I know that this kind of commitment isn't for everyone, but if you're considering a relationship like this, don't forget the three tips! Good luck!
