Let me humor myself and all the other ladies out there that have been trolling through almost relationships for years like I have. Dating is a subject that will never die, and even though I haven't been in an actual relationship since I was in high school (6 years ago), I'm confident that I know more than some people who are actually in relationships. Or i'd like to think so.
Relationships nowadays are surely not what they used to be. Chivalry may not be dead but it's surely on it's way to the grave. I mean really Tinder, Bumble and whatever hell else dating app is out there. That's what we've come to. Meeting based on the best pictures you can find of yourself through your cell phone. Because as long as you're hot, it apparently doesn't matter if your personality is that of a brick wall. Yes I've had Tinder once or twice, the first time as a complete joke and the second because I was really bored... "Nice smile, do you model toothpaste?" and "I'd let you wipe my butt" made for enough eye rolls to last a century and Tinder was sent into the virtual trash. For the short amount of entertainment it provided I was actually extremely embarrassed and hoped no one saw the app floating around on my home screen (for the record).
Moving on, TIMING. Timing is the biggest b**** out there. From experience there's never a good, convenient time for either party to begin a relationship. Except those perfect people who have their life together, but that is a really small fraction of all the humans under the age of thirty out there right now. I feel some people just got really lucky. Maybe i'm just bitter because I move back and forth so much that the only happening relationship i'll find is someone I can drag with me to wherever i'm going and even then after 'X' amount of time i'd probably get sick of them, and give them the boot. For me there's a fine line between I need you and get away from me.
Dating has become a game of cat and mouse and only wanting what you can't have because what's the fun in having something that throws itself at you. We're a cursed generation of picky, selfish and complicated human beings. Which couldn't be more flattering... Most of us wouldn't know and don't know a good thing when it's standing right in front us. Of course there are plenty of great guys in my life, great guy FRIENDS that unfortunately I could never picture myself dating. Life.
Struggling through a bunch of "almost relationships" that are absolutely the most pointless thing on this planet has taught me a bunch of things. One, don't settle for bullshit because one day you'll turn around and ask your self why your dealing with an asshole you don't even really like, don't ever see yourself actually being with and then realize he's the most irritating person ever. Two, an almost relationship is not a relationship. It's just an excuse because someone has commitment issues and needs something to do. Chances are if they didn't want to date you 6 months ago they don't want to date you now or ever. And three, because of your said almost shitty relationship your probably holding yourself back from someone or something a hell of a lot better not to mention stressing yourself out over nothing. These could also go for people in real relationships that just happen to really suck. Almost-relationships are the plague of our generation and they need to be renamed "never going to happen-ships." Stop being afraid to lose someone that you don't even have in the first place and if you do have them and having any of the issues listed above maybe you need to lose them.
But all I can do is laugh, relationships during this time in my life have no chance of being taken seriously. At least not just yet, there will come a day for that. For those of you that are on the fast track to marriage and are years deep with your high school sweet hearts, I am not the least bit envious. Good for you, but repeat not in the least bit envious. Eh, maybe a little because you guys tend to make things look so easy. But there's another lesson in that, don't judge a book by its cover and certainly don't judge a hot guy on tinder because he's probably got the IQ of a pool noodle.
