The issue of gender is a complicated one — one that is constantly evolving and shifting as we discover that our preconceived notions and rigid definitions are fundamentally flawed and archaic. The issue of gender inequality is even more complicated, even while it is, at its core, very simple. To be a feminist is simply to recognize that there is an inequality inherent within our cultural structure, an inequality that elevates men and puts women at a disadvantage. However, to be a feminist, you must have not only awareness, but seek to examine and redress this fact.
Or at least, I think. I am wary of trying to define a concept that is so expansive and also aware of the irony in a man writing an article about what it means to be a feminist. Usually, I try to keep my mouth closed for fear of saying something I shouldn’t, while still getting angry and pointing out the lack of parity I encounter in my everyday life. That is what I think it means to be a feminist, but I am certainly not an expert, and I want to be clear that because I am a man, I am sure that I have my own preconceived notions and complacencies that I do not see. I shouldn’t and couldn’t really ever define feminism. Whilst I do support feminism and consider myself a feminist, I understand that I do not always succeed in wholeheartedly supporting women and understanding the obstacles they face.
I think that to be a feminist and be a guy, you have to have awareness and have the bravery to speak up about that awareness, but you also have to be careful not to make your own voice and opinions so loud that you drown out the voices and opinions of the women that these inequalities actually affect. Men are always afforded the opportunity to speak, it is important to remember, when you are a guy and you call yourself a feminist, to give women the time to speak on their own behalf. That was the major problem with The Help—it wasn’t a story about African-Americans overcoming prejudice and racism, it was the story of white savior Emma Stone championing the disadvantaged. Women are more than capable of saving themselves. It is my feeling, as a male feminist, that I want to help women, but not try to save them.
To be a male and call yourself a feminist, you also have to have a sense of comfort in your own masculinity. The same way that heterosexual people who support LGTBQ rights have to be comfortable in their own sexuality, men who support women’s right are often under attack from other men as being “whipped” by their stereotypical image of the “FemiNazi.” As a male feminist, you have to know better than that, have to understand that what feminism is not is an attempt to shift the inequality so that men have less power than women, but about creating an egalitarian society.
Men and women have to work together, not just for women’s sake, but also for society’s sake. An egalitarian society is only possible if men and women come together to fight for balance, if men are willing to recognize and speak up when they see the disadvantages that women face, but also to shut up and afford women the opportunity to fight for themselves. It’s a fluid and ever-changing matter, to call oneself a male feminist, but it is necessary. Everyone should be a feminist, and everyone should understand what that title actually entails.
