Dear Older Sister,

For the past 18 years of my life you've been the girl I've wanted to be the most. Sure I had all those celebrity role models, but it was you who set the precedent in every situation. It was you who shaped my life. It was you who showed me what it is to grow up and be myself.

When we were younger you read to me every day even though I didn't understand what you were saying. As a little kid I always wanted to learn how to read and part of me thinks I felt this way because I wanted to keep up with you, to be like you. You inspired me and you were only 4.

As we got older I tried to copy you in other ways. You hated it when I would steal your clothes, but I just wanted to be like you in every way possible. I thought that if I dressed like you I would become you and I always wanted to become you. The simplest things that you did impressed and inspired me, even your fashion sense.

I have, for my whole life, tried to take my social cues from you. Whether we were out with family or meeting new people I always let you introduce yourself first to see how you did it because you have always been the social sister. You're always the one who goes out with friends. You always have people surrounding you and you are somehow able to entertain them endlessly. Meanwhile, I'm the one alone in my bed at home. But I always wanted to go out, I thought if I went out I could be more like you. I thought my social image could morph into yours.

The vibrant way you live your life has always inspired me. I would go through certain experiences with you and see other moments through social media and I strived for that fun, authentic vibe that always radiated off of you. I watched you go to prom, graduate high school, and start college and 2 years later, when it was my turn to experience those events, I aspired to handle them with the grace that you did. Even now that we're apart I always think back to the way you would do things and I try to copy them. I try to live my life like you because I think you've done such an incredible job for yourself.

So please sis, next time you think I'm copying you to be annoying know that I'm not. I've lived with you and grown with you. I've watched you experience joy and pain and learned how to deal with all of these emotions for myself from you. I'm copying you because I've learned it all from you. Your methods are the ones that I know best and just by being yourself you've been the best guide through life for me. You have allowed me to be the best version of myself and I could never thank you enough.

Love always,

Your Little Sister