Now that I am all settled into university life, I have come to the conclusion I will always be a loner. I have never had a big friend group, and even when I was with friends I just always feel out of place. I am sure there are plenty of people out there who can relate.
I have friends, don't get me wrong, and I love each and every one, but I don't have a lot. I am an introvert with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and it can make it very hard to even make friends, but when I do make them they are for life. There are very few people I can hang out with for an extended period of time without draining my social energy.
I cried a few times because I still haven't "found" my friend group here in my third year of college. But its okay. You see, there is a stigma in college that you have to be constantly busy and running around going to events with all your people. But you don't. College is what you make it. If you're like me and you prefer to stay in bed after you've finished all your homework on a Friday night, don't worry about it.
You're also *required* to join clubs and groups to boost your resume and skill level for potential employers to find you more desirable. Annoying right? My anxiety makes it hard to even enter the cafeteria to get food, let alone join a club and do things. Fortunately for me, there are groups that require very little social interaction, like Odessey *hint hint*.
Even then I still only have a couple friends on campus, so things get pretty lonely. Most of my friends go to other universities and live far away. Texting and phone calls only go so far, sometimes even the most anti-social of us need some real human interaction.
So there are the nights that I lay in my bed wondering why I can't make friends. I talk to people in my classes, but it never blossoms into a friendship. Maybe I'm talking to the wrong people?
Upon further introspection I have come to the realization I am a loner, but that's okay. I think I prefer it actually.
What is so wrong with being a loner? It's always seen as being such a bad thing. Yes, it's isolating and lonely, hence the name. However, I think we need to embrace ourselves, learn to love and be friends with our own inner self. Being a loner is not such a bad thing, it can allow for self-inspection and self-improvement.
Social events drain my battery, they make me wish I was at home in bed with my dog. I can only do so much in one day before I get crabby and need to recharge. There are millions of people out there like me, like you. do not let society make you think you have to go out of your way to "soak up the fun times" while you are here in your good years. If you feel like a grandma because you like to sit home and knit or embroider, girl me too, it's fine. You just do you, honey.
I genuinely like being alone. I have accepted that I won't make a lot of friends here at college, and that's okay. The few friends I do have are all I need. Quality over quantity! Besides, there's always Netflix to keep me company.
Live your life how you see fit. If you love to go out and party, as long as you're not hurting yourself or anyone else its okay! If you love your bed and would rather be home than talking to anyone, that's okay too! As long as you are happy and not hurting anything who cares?
