Why It Is Okay To Cut Toxic People Out Of Your Life

Why It Is Okay To Cut Toxic People Out Of Your Life

If someone isn't good for you, you probably know it.
2848
views

Being selfish is absolutely okay.

Everyone has that one person in their life, whether it be a family member, a friend, a boyfriend or girlfriend, that always makes our day worse. Someone whose problems and life struggles are always worse than ours, someone who controls you are tries to, someone who overreacts, someone who harms your relationships with other people.

Maybe it’s more than one person. Maybe it’s someone you just met, or someone that you have known for your entire life. Regardless, it is completely okay to cut that individual from your life.

No matter your opinion on how or why we are on this earth, we can all agree that we are not alive to make someone else happy at the expense of our own. Selflessness does not mean sacrificing your wellbeing, your mental health, your happiness for someone else’s. We have the right to do what is best for ourselves first, and if that means putting some space in between a relationship or a friendship, that is entirely okay. If we spend our entire lives worrying about keeping “good” relationships with people that put us down, that keep us on a tight leash, we aren’t really living.

Even if this person does their absolute best to create a drama, uses all of their energy for hate, spends time twisting your words, actions and intentions, it is perfectly acceptable for you to cut that person out of your life. You owe nothing to anyone to anyone that hurts you or hurts your friendships with others. You only owe it to yourself to stay surrounded by people who want what is best for you, people who lift you up. People that understand you and never twist your words into something that gives them a drama to talk about, to post about.

The only person in this world that I am entirely responsible for is myself. I am in charge of my happiness only, my wellbeing only. If there is a person in my life that stays in the back of my mind and dictates my words and actions, I owe it to myself to cut that person out. It is very hard to do this, especially since it is programmed in us to think about how it might hurt this person, how they will react and how they will feel. But what concern does this individual show for me when they cry because I have other friends? What concern does this person have for me when they undermine and devalue my personal struggles simply because theirs are “worse?” What concern do they have when they post to social media about me after twisting my words to make them seem like the victim? What concern do they have about presenting a false narrative and silencing my attempts to correct it?

People that act maliciously towards us do not care about our feelings when they tear us down and make us feel less than. Why should we care about their feelings when we simply tell them that we would like some space? Bullies that disguise themselves as friends stick with the people that don’t speak up about being put down, about being controlled. The only way to remove yourself from the situation is to remove them.

So yes, it is okay to be “selfish” and decide to cut toxic people out of our lives. If we spend our years on earth allowing ourselves to be pushed around, made fun of, controlled or belittled by people who claim to be friends, then we sacrifice our own happiness. I don’t know about you, but I would rather cut someone out of my life than spend it trading my wellbeing for their insecurities to be lessened.

Cover Image Credit: Lorna Jane Active Living

Popular Right Now

To The Dad Who Didn't Want Me, It's Mutual Now

Thank you for leaving me because I am happy.
745901
views

Thank you, for leaving me.

Thank you, for leaving me when I was little.

Thank you, for not putting me through the pain of watching you leave.

Thank you, for leaving me with the best mother a daughter could ask for.

I no longer resent you. I no longer feel anger towards you. I wondered for so long who I was. I thought that because I didn't know half of my blood that I was somehow missing something. I thought that who you were defined me. I was wrong. I am my own person. I am strong and capable and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

In my most vulnerable of times, I struggled with the fact that you didn't want me. You could have watched me grow into the person that I have become, but you didn't. You had a choice to be in my life. I thought that the fact that my own father didn't want me spoke to my own worth. I was wrong. I am so worthy. I am deserving, and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

You have missed so much. From my first dance to my first day of college, and you'll continue to miss everything. You won't see me graduate, you won't walk me down the aisle, and you won't get to see me follow my dreams. You'll never get that back, but I don't care anymore. What I have been through, and the struggles that I have faced have brought me to where I am today, and I can't complain. I go to a beautiful school, I have the best of friends, I have an amazing family, and that's all I really need.

Whoever you are, I hope you read this. I hope you understand that you have missed out on one of the best opportunities in your life. I could've been your daughter. I could have been your little girl. Now I am neither, nor will I ever be.

So thank you for leaving me because I am happy. I understand my self-worth, and I understand that you don't define me. You have made me stronger. You have helped make me who I am without even knowing it.

So, thank you for leaving me.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

An Open Letter To The Friend Who Continues To Save My Life

No one knows me like you do.

139
views

From the day we became friends, we have always had nothing but support for one another. Although we have only really been friends for about seven years now, I feel as if you have always been a part of my life. You know me just as well as you know yourself, and I understand you in the same way I understand my own thoughts and feelings.

You have never made me feel pressured, insecure, or unappreciated. The mutual respect we have for one another is unmatched. We can talk to each other about anything; from some of the most trivial topics to entire life philosophies. We have grown and matured together, and I couldn't be more proud of the person you are today.

We don't always agree on everything, and I always appreciate your fresh point of view, but I have never felt more in sync with another person than I do with you. We share the same birth month, the same age, the same home town, the same anxieties, and many of the same attitudes and values.

I feel as if you know exactly when I want to be alone and when I need company. Since we are both introverted, we understand that the other person needs time to recharge. And when I'm sitting alone with nothing to do, I always get a text from you asking to hang out.

In some of my loneliest, most vulnerable moments, you have been there. When I question how many true friends I really have, you are always sure to make your love for me known.

Through high school, and now college, we have experienced so many life-changing events together. Some that have taught us extremely valuable lessons, and others that have shown us incredible pain and how to grow from our lowest moments.

I want to thank you for showing me what life-long friendship looks like. Thank you for always understanding me and never putting too much pressure on me. I see an incredible future for both of us no matter where each of our lives takes us.

We will always share a unique connection that cannot be separated by any distance. But, for now, I'm glad you're only one text or phone call away.

Related Content

Facebook Comments