OJ "The Juice" Simpson

OJ "The Juice" Simpson

Hey, OJ. Wassup.

Hey OJ. Look, I know you're busy being a con artist, and having to keep up with the many lies you have managed to tell throughout your lifetime. But I just wanted to take the time to tell you congratulations. I mean, you made parole, that's a huge deal.

You know my favorite thing? The minute you got out it was trending on twitter. And guess what. Race was a huge factor. "White people will say he's a murderer", "Black's all across America are jumping for joy", "People are upset that OJ is out on parole, but not upset about all these white cops killing black men". What. Why is race the automatic card thrown? Like seriously? This is what causes the racial divide in America. Many people must not realize that it's not a racial thing. It's a moral and humane thing. C'mon.

Congrats for apparently being one of the greatest football players to ever play.

I wouldn't know because I wasn't alive when you were playing, and I don't care that much to look up all of your records and your highlights.

Congrats on being one of the only men to successfully beat the crap out of his wife on numerous occasions and get away with it.

You know, I'm not what some would call an "expert". However, I feel it takes a real man to be able to beat up on a woman to feel like you're the superior one. Seems to me like the "juice" took a real toll on you. That and your anger issues cause you to have the reputation of a woman beater.

Congrats on managing to serve your nine long years in prison.

How diplomatic of you to be able to serve your time and cause no troubles and still make it a winning game that you were the "best inmate of that prison". It must be so tough to be away from your family for nine long years. It must've been so tough to not get to hug your babies, and kiss them goodnight, and tell them you love them. You know, I bet that's what Nicole would say too if she could. Because you took that from her. Not only that, but you took a mother away from her babies. They didn't get to have the most important years together. Because of you. All because she was leaving you and she was done you. You just couldn't handle that could you? No, because the juice never gets rejected.

Congrats on getting away with murder.

It must be such a hard act to keep up. It must be so hard to remember all of the lies and details. Good thing for you is you were acquitted. So no questions are ever asked in a courtroom, or anywhere for that matter because you're "Juice" and apparently that means something to people? I don't know, that's funny to me. But not only did you kill your wife, but you also killed an innocent bystander who was only returning her a pair of glasses. Ron Goldman, in case anybody forgot about him as well.

So see, OJ, what you have done is completely unforgivable in my book. I wasn't alive during the time of the murder, or the trial. However, I have watched many documentaries. Enough to know that you're a liar, and that you got away with murder. And that your defense team, mainly Johnnie Cochran, helped out out majorly with the "If it doesn't fit, you must acquit" bull crap.

And this whole "armed robbery" situation that you claimed you were innocent in, good job. Do I believe people deserve second chances? Yes. Do I believe you deserve a second chance? No. Absolutely not.

You're a really good actor to many people, apparently. But to me, I see right through it. You make me sick. But congrats to your many accomplishments in life.

Cover Image Credit: google

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College As Told By Junie B. Jones

A tribute to the beloved author Barbara Parks.

The Junie B. Jones series was a big part of my childhood. They were the first chapter books I ever read. On car trips, my mother would entertain my sister and me by purchasing a new Junie B. Jones book and reading it to us. My favorite part about the books then, and still, are how funny they are. Junie B. takes things very literally, and her (mis)adventures are hilarious. A lot of children's authors tend to write for children and parents in their books to keep the attention of both parties. Barbara Park, the author of the Junie B. Jones series, did just that. This is why many things Junie B. said in Kindergarten could be applied to her experiences in college, as shown here.

When Junie B. introduces herself hundreds of times during orientation week:

“My name is Junie B. Jones. The B stands for Beatrice. Except I don't like Beatrice. I just like B and that's all." (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 1)

When she goes to her first college career fair:

"Yeah, only guess what? I never even heard of that dumb word careers before. And so I won't know what the heck we're talking about." (Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth, p. 2)

When she thinks people in class are gossiping about her:

“They whispered to each other for a real long time. Also, they kept looking at me. And they wouldn't even stop." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 66)

When someone asks her about the library:

“It's where the books are. And guess what? Books are my very favorite things in the whole world!" (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 27)

When she doesn't know what she's eating at the caf:

“I peeked inside the bread. I stared and stared for a real long time. 'Cause I didn't actually recognize the meat, that's why. Finally, I ate it anyway. It was tasty...whatever it was." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 66)

When she gets bored during class:

“I drew a sausage patty on my arm. Only that wasn't even an assignment." (Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren, p. 18)

When she considers dropping out:

“Maybe someday I will just be the Boss of Cookies instead!" (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 76)

When her friends invite her to the lake for Labor Day:

“GOOD NEWS! I CAN COME TO THE LAKE WITH YOU, I BELIEVE!" (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 17)

When her professor never enters grades on time:

“I rolled my eyes way up to the sky." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 38)

When her friends won't stop poking her on Facebook:

“Do not poke me one more time, and I mean it." (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 7)

When she finds out she got a bad test grade:

“Then my eyes got a little bit wet. I wasn't crying, though." (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 17)

When she isn't allowed to have a pet on campus but really wants one:


When she has to walk across campus in the dark:

“There's no such thing as monsters. There's no such thing as monsters." (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed, p. 12)

When her boyfriend breaks her heart:

“I am a bachelorette. A bachelorette is when your boyfriend named Ricardo dumps you at recess. Only I wasn't actually expecting that terrible trouble." (Junie B. Jones Is (almost) a Flower Girl, p. 1)

When she paints her first canvas:

"And painting is the funnest thing I love!" (Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth, p. 61)

When her sorority takes stacked pictures:

“The biggie kids stand in the back. And the shortie kids stand in the front. I am a shortie kid. Only that is nothing to be ashamed of." (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed, p. 7)

When she's had enough of the caf's food:

“Want to bake a lemon pie? A lemon pie would be fun, don't you think?" (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed p. 34)

When she forgets about an exam:

“Speechless is when your mouth can't speech." (Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren, p. 54)

When she finds out she has enough credits to graduate:

“A DIPLOMA! A DIPLOMA! I WILL LOVE A DIPLOMA!" (Junie B. Jones is a Graduation Girl p. 6)

When she gets home from college:

"IT'S ME! IT'S JUNIE B. JONES! I'M HOME FROM MY SCHOOL!" (Junie B. Jones and some Sneaky Peaky Spying p. 20)

Cover Image Credit: OrderOfBooks

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15 Thing Only Early 2000's Kids Will Understand

"Get connected for free, with education connection"


This is it early 2000's babies, a compilation finally made for you. This list is loaded with things that will make you swoon with nostalgia.

1. Not being accepted by the late 90's kids.


Contrary to what one may think, late 90's and early 00's kids had the same childhood, but whenever a 00's kid says they remember something on an "only 90's kids will understand" post they are ridiculed.

2. Fortune tellers.


Every day in elementary school you would whip one of these bad boys out of your desk, and proceed to tell all of your classmates what lifestyle they were going to live and who they were going to marry.



You could never read this book past 8 o'clock at night out of fear that your beloved pet rabbit would come after you.

4. Silly bands.


You vividly remember begging your parents to buy you $10 worth of cheap rubber bands that vaguely resembles the shape of an everyday object.

5. Parachutes.


The joy and excitement that washed over you whenever you saw the gym teacher pull out the huge rainbow parachute. The adrenaline that pumped through your veins whenever your gym teacher tells you the pull the chute under you and sit to make a huge "fort".

6. Putty Erasers


You always bought one whenever there was a school store.

7. iPod shuffle.


The smallest, least technological iPpd apple has made, made you the coolest kid at the bus stop.

8. "Education Connection"

You knew EVERY wood to the "Education Connection" commercials. Every. Single.Word.

9. " The Naked Brothers Band"


The "Naked Brothers Band" had a short run on Nickelodeon and wrote some absolute bangers including, "Crazy Car' and "I Don't Wanna Go To School"

10. Dance Dance Revolution


This one video game caused so many sibling, friend, and parent rivalries. This is also where you learned all of your super sick dance moves.

11. Tamagotchi


Going to school with fear of your Tamagotchi dying while you were away was your biggest worry.

12. Gym Scooters


You, or somebody you know most likely broke or jammed their finger on one of these bad boys, but it was worth it.

13. Scholastic book fairs


Begging your parents for money to buy a new book, and then actually spending it on pens, pencils, erasers, and posters.



Who knew that putting yogurt in a plastic tube made it taste so much better?

15. Slap Bracelets


Your school probably banned these for being "too dangerous".

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