“So, do you have a boyfriend yet?”
“No.”
“Oh honey, I’m sorry to hear that.”
That has to be the most overrated conversation that I have had in the past year from too many people.
Here is the truth:
There was a point in time in my not-fully-lived life that I wasn’t single and I too believed that I needed to rely on someone for my own happiness. That’s not the case anymore, and I am very thankful that I have had time to figure that out. The only problem is that ever since I made the discovery, I noticed myself and other young adults getting “single-shamed” just for not having a boyfriend/girlfriend, and quite frankly, it is so annoying!
“Oh you’re still single?”
Here’s how I would answer the overrated question down to the last detail:
Yes, I am still single, and no, I don’t feel ashamed or upset about it. However, I do get upset at the fact that you believe you have to get into my business and ask that. Please stop saying that you’re sorry for me because I am not sorry for myself. I am single, not terminally ill. It’s quite odd that you care more about my singleness rather than wondering what plans and goals I have for my life. The truth is that being single in college is the most wonderful thing ever to have happened to me in my social life.
College is about finding yourself while figuring out your own beliefs etc., While creating a better you. I love it because I can go out where I want, when I want, and with whoever I want without having to report to someone. I can be friends with anyone, which is quite nice too, and most importantly, I am an independent, young woman with goals and plans that doesn’t involve another person to look after rather than myself. I am in the best shape I have ever been in regarding how I feel and I am confident with who I am.
Someday, when the universe places someone special in front of me, then I may feel differently. That day isn’t today or tomorrow. For now though, please stop asking the dreaded question of why other young adults and I are single. I am proud of who I have become in the last year and I became that person by embracing the fact that I do have nights and days when I am alone. I use those nights to create a better, vibrant and content me whether it’s a favorite hobby, working out/running, or just simply thinking about life and my goals in general. I am a proud, young, and independent woman and I think I speak for all of single women like myself when I ask you to please asking us if we're still single like its a horrible thing. Thank you
