You see it happening all around you, people losing their loved ones- friends, family, members of their graduating class, but you never expect it to happen to you.

Until it does.

I got a call from a friend around 4 p.m. on Tuesday September 10th, "Hey Maggie have you heard?" I immediately knew something was wrong and my friend proceeded to tell me that our childhood friend had ended his life. I had known him and his twin brother since elementary school and continued to build an amazing friendship that has lasted through college. I was in complete shock--I truthfully think I still am. I stood in line at the visitation speaking to friends from high school and watching my friend and his family sob in front of the casket. I went up to hug my friend and he couldn't let go of me as he sobbed on my shoulder, and my heart broke.

The more I have thought of the events the more I become angry-- it's natural. How selfish to go out like that. To leave us like that.

To him our reality of college and beauty and life was tainted by a darkness that swallowed his mind. What can you do? How can we, as a society, get through to kids to let them know this does not have to be the end of their life, that it has to get better.

So, here I am about to be completely vulnerable with the Internet in attempt to spread awareness that it does not have to be the end, and you will never realize or know how the loss of you affects others.

I was battling my own demons about two years ago. I was at rock bottom, I didn't want to get out of bed most days and I was struggling with massive anxiety and depression. I struggled with self harm and tended to feel like a zombie most days, just going through the motions of my day without feeling much of anything. One November night, and I'll never forget it, I almost did it. I wanted to act on my impulse so badly, but my family wouldn't allow it. My step-sister cried on my back as she begged me not to leave her or this world, and I realized I could never be so selfish to do that to my family.

That is not the point of this story. The point of this story is where I am now. I am happy. I am successful. I am mentally well. It didn't take medicine to fix me. It took the love and support of those around me--something a pill can't do for me. It took friends coming to pick me up off of the bathroom floor. It took a community filled with light and love. It took a lot but I got better.

You can get better. You are a light in this world and without you the world would grow darker. Seek community, share your stories, be bold, share your passions, chase your dreams and never let the darkness of this world bring you to a point where you want to harm yourself. My story could have ended like my friends, with immense sorrow, but instead I am here on my way to an amazing future, one that we all have.

I can't stop you but I can only share my story of love and loss and hope you receive light and seek the resources you need to help yourself.