Odyssey Poetry

Poetry on Odyssey: Tears

No one can help me.

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I sleep on the floor so you cant feel me shake
I sleep away from you so you don't hear my cry
All I want to do is cry...
I stay quiet to avoid questions
I sleep with you because I'm afraid to sleep alone
I'm mean because I hope you'll stop asking questions
I pretend I don't hear you so I don't have to talk

I just need to talk to someone
But I can't talk to you
I can't form the words
I don't want you to know how much I'm suffering
Even though it's hard to be happy,

I don't want anyone to know something is wrong


I wait for you to fall asleep
So I can sneak away
Take my journal and write down everything
To cry in peace

No one can help me

I am at a loss...
I don't make you happy.
I can't seem to do anything right.
I'm a terrible person.
I don't understand why you're so nice to me.
I don't deserve your kindness.


I just feel more and more self-conscious every day and you don't seem to understand.
I can't get you to understand the thoughts in my head.
And you aren't my therapist so
I don't feel like I should have to tell you what's wrong and everything when you don't.

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10 Bible Verses for Self Esteem

Sometimes you need to search for inner strength and find your own self worth.
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We all get those days that we just don't feel good enough for anything. Everything is going wrong. For me, I go to the bible to read the words of God. His personal dialog for us is filled with encouragement, hope, and lessons we can learn from. Here are my top ten verses that are uplifting and impacting when at the lowest of lows:

1. Philippians 4:13:

I can do all things in Him who strengthens me.

2. Psalm 46:5

God is within her, she will not fall.

3. Proverbs 31:25

She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.

4. Psalm 28:76

The Lord is my strength and my shield.

5. 1 Corinthians 25:10

By the grace of God, I am what I am.

6. Romans 5:8

I loved you at your darkest.

7. Psalm 62:5-6

Only God gives inward peace, and I depend on Him. God alone is the mighty rock that keeps me safe, and he is the fortress where I feel secure.

8. 2 Timothy 1:7

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline.

9. 1 Peter 2:9

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.

10. 2 Chronicles 20:15

The battle is not ours, but God's.

Cover Image Credit: chinadaily

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It's Not Selfish To Put Yourself First, It's More Selfish To Let Yourself Suffer

I am not going to let myself suffer knowingly.

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Over the past couple of months, I've stepped back and reflected different aspects of my life. I've analyzed how people have treated me and reprioritized friendships that make me feel validated. I have cut, for the most part, social media as I no longer feel a desperate need to post about every little thing I do to show people I'm "living my best life."

I've realized there are just some things I do not agree with because they damage me mentally and emotionally.

I am not going to just stand to the side and let people walk all over me.

I am not going to let people dictate how I feel for their own happiness and I'm left suffering.

And with that, I have put myself first. Coming to realize why I am suffering and took action rather than just ignoring the issue. I was emotionally hurting and decided that I needed to fix that.

When it comes to our mental health, we often talk about how if we were to break a bone, we must go see the doctor. We wouldn't hesitate. So when it comes to our mental health, why must we hesitate?

I've always been a strong advocate for mental health awareness. Since 8th grade, I've always been to a therapist and it's something I'm proud I did, even if it was not what I thought I needed. I have life skills that have improved my overall quality of life.

However, there was a period of my life where I thought I was invincible. "Hey, I've been through 4 years of therapy, I'm okay. I can handle the world." But I was so wrong. Life brings up new challenges for which we must adapt.

Scott Peck's "A Road Less Traveled" talks about how we are not born with this road maps that help direct how we are meant to go through life. From time and time again, we must step back and reanalyze life to see what we must work on and improve. We must continue to progress through life rather than standing still and going through the emotions. That is when we are miserable, at our lowest point.

I got so low that I needed to go back to therapy, to improve and gain new life skills.

By going back to therapy, I have people claim "you are being selfish" when I said no to different people and/or activities. They just do not align up with my values, or they make me feel miserable. I am not going to let myself suffer knowingly.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

There is no excuse to keep toxic people in your life when you can be enjoying people who are only positive. That even includes sometimes canceling things or saying no to someone if you're uncomfortable.

So yes, I'd rather stay home with my roommates and watch "Parks and Rec". Or sometimes I want to seclude myself into my bedroom and watch Netflix while lighting a few candles. I want my quality time to rejuvenate or just relax after days of being up and about.

I also will be ready for whatever 3 a.m. shenanigans you might want to embark on.

This past semester, I've come to realize my limitations, obstacles, and worked to overcome them. I've acknowledged my strengths and worked hard to strengthen them. I am putting myself as a priority to grow and be the best version of myself.

You have to put you and your well being first.

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