An Ode To The Unproductive Weekends We've All Had

We've all been there. Thursday morning you wake up with a plan. A great plan. "This weekend," you say to yourself, "is the weekend I'm going to get it done." It's only Thursday but you make plans with yourself to clean your room, wash all of your dirty laundry, finish that project you've been working on and start that essay that is due in a few weeks. You are so sure of your ability and commitment of being 100% productive. When people ask you about your plans for the weekend you respond with your 'to-do' list.

It's Friday. The work week is officially over and all you want to do is relax. So you relax. Well...kind of. Remembering your 'to-do' list, you feel guilty about not getting a start on crossing off items on your list, but then you remember that it is Friday and you've had a rough week. You deserve a break, one evening of doing nothing. Saturday will be full of productivity. You'll go to bed early so you can wake up early, full of energy. Soon you find yourself in bed clicking 'continue watching' on Netflix for the third time. Life is good. Everything is swell.

Saturday morning comes after you stayed up until 3am re-watching old episodes of Parks and Recreation. It's 11 a.m. You meant to wake up at 9. There goes your morning and any hope of snagging an empty washer to do your laundry. You take your time getting ready...after all, you're tired from staying up for no good reason and it's Saturday. Before you know it, it's 3pm and you still haven't started your work. Time to get down to business. You sit down at your computer and open up whatever you are supposed to be working on. You work for a solid 20 minutes, but then you get the notification that you've been tagged in a video on Facebook. It's from BuzzFeed. You love BuzzFeed. You watch that video. And then the next. And the next. Suddenly it's been 40 minutes and you just finished taking the "Are you Actually a Hipster" quiz. You peer at your minimalist watch through your thick rimmed Warby Parkers. Dinner time. You glance at the essay that you started at 3. You only have one paragraph. At dinner, your friends convince you to go out to the bar with them later that evening. You spend the rest of your night getting ready to go out.

Sunday morning. You wake up late again but this time with a killer headache. It takes awhile, but you finally manage to get up and moving. After lunch, you hear your bed calling your name and you decide that you'll be most productive if you just stay there. It's a lie...you won't be productive at all.

Now it's 7 p.m. on Sunday. You have class at 9 a.m. tomorrow and you realize nothing on your to-do list got done. You spend the rest of the evening cramming as much work in as you can to make up for the past few days. It's exhausting. When you finally crawl into bed, you vow to yourself that you will never ever procrastinate like this ever again.

You will.