I'm Obsessed With Time And It's Taking A Toll On Me

I'm Obsessed With Time And It's Taking A Toll On Me

I have an irrational fear of being late, even when I don't have anything to be late to.


If you've ever woken up in a daze and realized that you've missed your alarm and overslept, you might just get up and say, "well, I'm late anyway" and not rush through your morning procedure. You might be the person that's always late to things - parties, dinner dates, the movies- and you've accepted your tardiness. In school, you were known for being late and casually strolling into class with a Starbucks beverage in your hand.

That's not me. Not even close.

I have an irrational fear of being late. I'm obsessed with time and keeping track of it. I lay in bed and double check that my alarm is set to an appropriate time. I wake up earlier than my alarm to make sure that I'm not going to oversleep. I refuse to take melatonin to promote restfulness because I'm worried that I'm going to sleep through my alarm.

Older people are usually obsessed with the time because time is ticking away, they feel as though they're running out of time to live. Time wasted is time lost. But I'm only 21. Why am I so concerned with time being lost?

When I was a kid, I hated being late for school. In high school, even with my rebellious attitude, I hated being late. I would leave for school earlier than necessary, just to ensure that I'd get there with sufficient time. In college, I'd sprint across campus because I have a terrible sense of time and I believe that if a class is at 11, and I leave at 10:20, I'll be late for class. Mind you, I drive to campus and it takes me seven minutes to walk from my car to class.

At night, I don't sleep. I'm too preoccupied with waking up on time, or even before my alarm goes off. When I have a doctor's appointment, I arrive 45 minutes early, because I expect the worst traffic possible every time. At work, I'll show up almost an hour earlier than my shift, even though I live four minutes from my job. I'm never late, but I'm always worried I will be.

The "Hooked App" is an app that provides the latest deals and coupons for restaurants and other small shops. Each deal has a timer that counts down when the deal is going to expire. Want to talk about anxiety? Try looking for a good food deal with a timer flashing and counting down to zero while you can't decide on what you want to eat.

I wear a watch every day, preferably digital since it requires less time to tell time. I was never comfortable with analog clocks because I couldn't tell the time without more time passing while I struggled to figure it out. It's less of a fashion accessory and more of a necessary tool. I glance at clocks every few minutes, no matter where I am. God forbid I have a flight to catch - I never stop checking the time.

It's something that I can't seem to control, an obsession with no immediate solution, besides feeding into it further. It drives me absolutely mad when I see that no one else is as concerned with the time as I am, or when they tell me to "stop freaking out, we have plenty of time." For me, I'm always running out of time, watching it waste away, while I try to hold onto whatever few minutes I can.

Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping...

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To The Girl Who Isn't Graduating On Time, It Won't Feel Any Less Amazing When You Do

Graduating is something to be proud of no matter how long it takes you.


To the girl who isn't graduating college "on time,"

I promise, you will get there eventually, and you will walk across that graduation stage with the biggest smile on your face.

You may have a different journey than the people you grew up with, and that is OKAY. You may have some twists and turns along the way, a few too many major changes, a life change, you may have taken most of a semester off to try to figure your life out, and you're doing the best you can.

Your family and your friends don't think less of you or your accomplishments, they are proud of your determination to get your degree.

They are proud of the woman you are becoming. They don't think of you as a failure or as someone any less awesome than you are. You're getting your degree, you're making moves towards your dreams and the life that you have always wanted, so please stop beating yourself up while you see people graduating college on time and getting a job or buying a car.

Your time will come, you just keep doing what you need to do in order to get on that graduation stage.

Your path is set out for you, and you will get there with time but also with patience. The place you're at right now is where you are supposed to be. You are going to thrive and you are going to be the best version of you when you graduate and start looking for a company that you will be proud to work for. Don't look on social media and feel less than, because at least you're still working towards your degree that you are finally passionate about. You will be prepared. You will be ready once the time comes and you cross the stage, move away, and start your journey in whatever field you're going into.

Don't question yourself, and be confident in your abilities.

With love,

A girl who isn't graduating on time

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The College Experience

A series telling the true experiences of modern day college students.


Everyone tells you to prepare for the best years of your life.

They tell you to prepare for all of the new challenges and new opportunities.

They say that you will meet your future people in college.

What they don't tell you is how much it will hurt.

Seeing old friends disappear because you are no longer home.

Watching your grades fall because the class is too difficult to pass.

Hearing and witnessing your family struggle and you aren't able to be with them.

Seeing all of the adventures that others are going on while you are stuck in your dorm room with the same stack of papers you have been trying to finish for three days now.

They don't tell you how difficult the transition will be.

They especially don't tell you how hard it is to live with someone.

The best of friends can live together and then grow to hate each other.

Complete strangers will move in and never speak.

You'll find friends that are simply just your "writing friend" or "band friend".

Many of the labels from high school can sometimes stick around.

If you're not out drinking or clubbing, then people think you don't have a life.

College is great, but don't think that it will be easy.

You have to make things easy in order for things to happen.

You can't just go around doing whatever and expect things to work out.

It takes time and it takes commitment to succeed in life, and in college.

The best way to deal with it all, find someone!

Find someone that you can get coffee with and watch sports with.

Find someone to eat dinner and lunch with.

Find someone to study religion and math before the next test.

Find someone!

Find your someone, a friend or someone special, to help you make it through everything that life throws at you.

If I had that someone I might have been better off my first year.


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