I'm Obsessed With Time And It's Taking A Toll On Me

I'm Obsessed With Time And It's Taking A Toll On Me

I have an irrational fear of being late, even when I don't have anything to be late to.

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If you've ever woken up in a daze and realized that you've missed your alarm and overslept, you might just get up and say, "well, I'm late anyway" and not rush through your morning procedure. You might be the person that's always late to things - parties, dinner dates, the movies- and you've accepted your tardiness. In school, you were known for being late and casually strolling into class with a Starbucks beverage in your hand.

That's not me. Not even close.

I have an irrational fear of being late. I'm obsessed with time and keeping track of it. I lay in bed and double check that my alarm is set to an appropriate time. I wake up earlier than my alarm to make sure that I'm not going to oversleep. I refuse to take melatonin to promote restfulness because I'm worried that I'm going to sleep through my alarm.

Older people are usually obsessed with the time because time is ticking away, they feel as though they're running out of time to live. Time wasted is time lost. But I'm only 21. Why am I so concerned with time being lost?

When I was a kid, I hated being late for school. In high school, even with my rebellious attitude, I hated being late. I would leave for school earlier than necessary, just to ensure that I'd get there with sufficient time. In college, I'd sprint across campus because I have a terrible sense of time and I believe that if a class is at 11, and I leave at 10:20, I'll be late for class. Mind you, I drive to campus and it takes me seven minutes to walk from my car to class.

At night, I don't sleep. I'm too preoccupied with waking up on time, or even before my alarm goes off. When I have a doctor's appointment, I arrive 45 minutes early, because I expect the worst traffic possible every time. At work, I'll show up almost an hour earlier than my shift, even though I live four minutes from my job. I'm never late, but I'm always worried I will be.

The "Hooked App" is an app that provides the latest deals and coupons for restaurants and other small shops. Each deal has a timer that counts down when the deal is going to expire. Want to talk about anxiety? Try looking for a good food deal with a timer flashing and counting down to zero while you can't decide on what you want to eat.

I wear a watch every day, preferably digital since it requires less time to tell time. I was never comfortable with analog clocks because I couldn't tell the time without more time passing while I struggled to figure it out. It's less of a fashion accessory and more of a necessary tool. I glance at clocks every few minutes, no matter where I am. God forbid I have a flight to catch - I never stop checking the time.

It's something that I can't seem to control, an obsession with no immediate solution, besides feeding into it further. It drives me absolutely mad when I see that no one else is as concerned with the time as I am, or when they tell me to "stop freaking out, we have plenty of time." For me, I'm always running out of time, watching it waste away, while I try to hold onto whatever few minutes I can.

Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping...

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It's Time To Thank Your First Roommate

Not the horror story kind of roommate, but the one that was truly awesome.
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Nostalgic feelings have recently caused me to reflect back on my freshman year of college. No other year of my life has been filled with more ups and downs, and highs and lows, than freshman year. Throughout all of the madness, one factor remained constant: my roommate. It is time to thank her for everything. These are only a few of the many reasons to do so, and this goes for roommates everywhere.

You have been through all the college "firsts" together.

If you think about it, your roommate was there through all of your first college experiences. The first day of orientation, wishing you luck on the first days of classes, the first night out, etc. That is something that can never be changed. You will always look back and think, "I remember my first day of college with ____."

You were even each other's first real college friend.

You were even each other's first real college friend.

Months before move-in day, you were already planning out what freshman year would be like. Whether you previously knew each other, met on Facebook, or arranged to meet in person before making any decisions, you made your first real college friend during that process.

SEE ALSO: 18 Signs You're A Little Too Comfortable With Your Best Friends

The transition from high school to college is not easy, but somehow you made it out on the other side.

It is no secret that transitioning from high school to college is difficult. No matter how excited you were to get away from home, reality hit at some point. Although some people are better at adjusting than others, at the times when you were not, your roommate was there to listen. You helped each other out, and made it through together.

Late night talks were never more real.

Remember the first week when we stayed up talking until 2:00 a.m. every night? Late night talks will never be more real than they were freshman year. There was so much to plan for, figure out, and hope for. Your roommate talked, listened, laughed, and cried right there with you until one of you stopped responding because sleep took over.

You saw each other at your absolute lowest.

It was difficult being away from home. It hurt watching relationships end and losing touch with your hometown friends. It was stressful trying to get in the swing of college level classes. Despite all of the above, your roommate saw, listened, and strengthened you.

...but you also saw each other during your highest highs.

After seeing each other during the lows, seeing each other during the highs was such a great feeling. Getting involved on campus, making new friends, and succeeding in classes are only a few of the many ways you have watched each other grow.

There was so much time to bond before the stresses of college would later take over.

Freshman year was not "easy," but looking back on it, it was more manageable than you thought at the time. College only gets busier the more the years go on, which means less free time. Freshman year you went to lunch, dinner, the gym, class, events, and everything else possible together. You had the chance to be each other's go-to before it got tough.

No matter what, you always bounced back to being inseparable.

Phases of not talking or seeing each other because of business and stress would come and go. Even though you physically grew apart, you did not grow apart as friends. When one of you was in a funk, as soon as it was over, you bounced right back. You and your freshman roommate were inseparable.

The "remember that one time, freshman year..." stories never end.

Looking back on freshman year together is one of my favorite times. There are so many stories you have made, which at the time seemed so small, that bring the biggest laughs today. You will always have those stories to share together.

SEE ALSO: 15 Things You Say To Your Roommates Before Going Out

The unspoken rule that no matter how far apart you grow, you are always there for each other.

It is sad to look back and realize everything that has changed since your freshman year days. You started college with a clean slate, and all you really had was each other. Even though you went separate ways, there is an unspoken rule that you are still always there for each other.

Your old dorm room is now filled with two freshmen trying to make it through their first year. They will never know all the memories that you made in that room, and how it used to be your home. You can only hope that they will have the relationship you had together to reflect on in the years to come.


Cover Image Credit: Katie Ward

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The Power Of Journaling

Slowing down in a fast pace world.

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In a world where everything is moving so fast pace, I have found comfort in taking small moments to reflect on the blurring images around me. I have always loved to journal, but recently I have found a system that works very well for me.

One habit that I have newly formed is creating a section in my journal that I like to call "Get Out of My Head." Life moves very fast and sometimes my thoughts can't keep up. This causes stress, anxiety, sadness and even the feeling of loneliness. I have created this section in my journal to be a safe place where I can just scribble down whatever is taking over my head, but there is a trick.

Like I stated previously, I have always loved to journal, but I never found ultimate comfort in it because I would go back and read what I wanted to remove from my mind. This was causing me to reexperience what I didn't want to. I highly suggest having a place in your journal that is essentially a flame for all th4e thoughts you want to rid of.

On the contrary, have a section in your journal where you love to look. I try and fill this section with happy thoughts, quotes, verses, and gratitude. This makes journaling and reading your entries something to look forward to, rather than not.

In conclusion, journaling is unique for everyone and it takes some time to figure out exactly the right way. But once you discover the safe place that journaling can be, it can change your life forever.

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