I mean how can any teenage girl that starts a blog not end up writing about her "love life", or lack there of? I am probably about to be really basic here, so no worries if you stop reading now. 

Last summer. That's when I began my journey of anger and resentment. He was only my second serious boyfriend, but honestly, we clicked like I had never imagined. I have never been into PDA, "romantic" nicknames (babe, baby, honey, etc.), clingy people, sweet talk, emotional crap, or basically any part of a "normal" relationship. I don't even like holding hands in public. It's just not me. However, not even a few months into the relationship, I found myself wanting to spend more and more time with him. I jokingly called him nicknames, which then became habit. And the kicker, I loved when he called me cute nicknames, too. He even started using my silly childhood nicknames that all my family uses. And I didn't even mind it. I still wasn't very fond of sharing my feelings or opening up, but there wasn't anything I would hide from him. I slowly started slipping up though and I'd just tell him out of the blue how much I loved him and what he meant to me. I also started doing everything I possibly could to help him when I thought he needed it. I drove him places when his car would break down, I helped with homework and tutoring when needed, I helped keep his extra-curricular activities straight, I helped fill out most of his college forms, I drove his disabled parents around if he was too busy, I was more than willing to do basically anything he asked. He even went to church with me every Sunday and he got to be a big part of my family. We were normally together at least 3 times a week, normally more. When Summer started nearing, we started stressing about college a little. We both had different plans that led us to different colleges. I was a little skeptical about the long distance, but he begged me over and over to try it and swore he would make it work. And like a fool, I believed him. I was on the last day of vacation when he hit me with the text out of nowhere. After everything we had done for each other he was trying to end it over a text? The break-up was honestly the second worse feeling I can remember. I cried for two days straight, which one, I don't cry often (especially over dumb guys), and two, I don't cry in front of people. Those couple days I'm pretty sure my whole family and some friends saw me cry for the first time in years. However, I still had hope. I kept believing he would change his mind and want me back. Three days later I found out he had been cheating on me with two different girls for a while. Talk about gut wrenching. It's been several months now and I still hold tight to the bad feelings, but if I don't I just feel the pain from the sadness. I go through good spells and extra emotional days sometimes, but it has gotten much better. The main thing I realized recently is, while I have tried many different solutions to the hard feelings, I still haven't tried the one guaranteed to work- God. I keep fighting Him because I want to feel this way. Why pray to God about it and move on just so I can get hurt again? I have been reasoning with myself for months saying I will get to it eventually and that I just haven't had enough time to let it stew yet. But the first thing I should of done was stopped and prayed. I have now started trying to forgive all the parties involved and move on because I am tired of carrying this anger around all the time. I still fall back sometimes, and sometimes the path for forgiveness seems straight uphill, but I am slowly making headway. So if you managed to make it this far, I want you to know I understand your struggle to forgive those who have wronged you, but we can do this together. This was written more as an accountability post for myself and y'all feel free to call me on it at any time or check with me on it. 

Thank y'all,

A Gal Just Simply Living