30 Things I Am Not Thankful For This Thanksgiving | The Odyssey Online
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30 Things I Am Not Thankful For This Thanksgiving

'Tis the season of clapbacks and tea drinking.

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30 Things I Am Not Thankful For This Thanksgiving
elizabethstefanic

Thanksgiving is a time to share dinner and thanks with loved ones and friends. Giving thanks is an important way to recognize all the wonderful people we have in our life and how fortunate we truly are, despite all the hardships faced throughout the year. A common traditions in most households is to share in the feast while discussing one thing every person at the table is thankful for. This year, I've decided to share with everyone thirty things I am not thankful for this Thanksgiving (or any Thanksgiving). 2016 has been crazy and I have a feeling the holidays will be interesting as well. So sit back, pull up a bowl of mash potatoes, and enjoy.


1. That feeling you get from eating something that has been cooked too hot and the top of your mouth feels like leather for the next three days.

Damn you lobster bisque and peppermint hot chocolate! Your deliciousness has burned me, but I can't say it wasn't worth it. Physically can't say it, my mouth is too burnt.

2. When someone honks at me while I'm crossing in the designated crosswalk.

3. When people walk too slow in an undesignated crosswalk.

4. Ez-Pass tickets

Satan's way of reminding you that no one carries quarters anymore.

5. People who say "I prefer to call diets a lifestyle choice"

I will never accept kale as anything but lettuce's ugly step sister.

6. When Chipotle takes "extra sour cream and cheese" as a suggestion.

I came for a burrito bowl, not for a bowl of beans and lettuce.


7. Having a bowl full of Heath Bars and Whoppers after all the other Halloween candy is gone.

8. Dishwashers that don't take their job seriously

I didn't put the dishes in the dishwater to be a lukewarm water babysitter.

9. The smell of denim.

10. The "Can You Hear Me Now" Guy switching to Sprint.

TRAITOR. HOW DARE YOU? I HAVE TRUST ISSUES BECAUSE OF THIS.

11. Winter Breaks for TV shows and their finales.

I'M TALKING DIRECTLY TO YOU SHONDA. PICK A SHOW. I'M UPSET ABOUT IT.

12. People who overuse use the term "millennials" either to describe themselves or other people.

The last thing any of us need is another think piece from either side.


13. The fact I keep making quality gems on social media platforms and Ellen still hasn't recognized me.

Ellen Degeneres is constantly plucking from the social media sphere funny posts, tweets, and videos. If it has a chance at being viral, Ellen already has it scheduled up for the next show. MY TWITTER/ SNAPCHAT/ INSTAGRAM ARE BEGGING FOR YOU ELLEN. MAKE ME THE NEXT DAMN DANIEL, YOU WON'T REGRET IT.

14. Brad and Angelina's divorce.

Brad's getting a divorce and is in a new spy thriller between a husband and wife who are on opposite sides? Where have I seen this before?

15. Ann Coulter.

She's worse than Sally Field's character in Legally Blonde 2. She promotes hate, racism, and body image issues. Plus her performance at Rob Lowe's Roast haunts me.

16. Internet Trolls that made Chrissy Teigen make her twitter profile private.

Having my own personal Chris Crocker moment. All I want to do is retweet Chrissy's hilarious tweets and now I can't because people just love hating on a woman who just talks about her baby, husband, and cookbook recipes. Despicable.

17. Chub Rub.

For those who don't know the terminology: Chub rub is the friction between your thighs after rubbing against each other for a long period of time. Informal term for chafing. Very, very, very painful.

18. Using up all your data and still having two weeks to go before the cycle starts up again.

19. When you can't fast forward while watching a show On Demand.

I don't want to sit through another Latuda commercial, I just want to watch Life In Pieces in peace.

20. Backhanded compliments.

No, I am not "brave" for wearing that. Our troops are brave. I am not brave for wearing a crop top, no matter what body shape or size I am. I, however, am stylish and cuter than your comments.

21. The fact Agent Carter was canceled.

I feel Nathan Fillion after Firefly was canceled. Completely heartbroken.

22. People who dressed up as scary clowns this year.

23. People who don't know the difference between an argument and a discussion.

Every facebook post is not a platform for a fight. Pick you battles, scroll passed what is stupid and comment when it's important. Respect other people's opinions and use kind words. Shouting only makes the other shout louder and then no one is actually hearing one another, just their own screams.

24. Troy Bolton thinking he had a shot at getting into Juilliard and sang a song about not knowing what to do as if it was a real option for basketball player who was in one musical once.

Does Troy even know who Stella Adler is? Meisner? Does he know what it means to live truthfully under imaginary circumstances? As someone trying to make a career in the performing arts world, I find it as a slap in the face that Mrs. Darbus even considered it knowing how hard Sharpay, Ryan, and Kelsi work at their craft. It's more unrealistic than Troy dancing on the ceiling during Scream in High School Musical 3 (which is arguably the best number in the movie and my personal favorite).

25. Men who refer to wearing eyeliner as "guy liner".

Eyeliner is gender inclusive. When women wear eyeliner, we don't call it "girl liner". Same goes for "meggings". Are they for your megs? No, you have legs, that's why they are called leggings.

26. "Cannot Take Photo. Storage is Full"

27. Skin care kiosk sale people at the mall.

These salespeople have the most aggressive sales approach in the world. They'll grab you, shout at you, get right up in your face. They'll suck you in and charge you a ridiculous amount and you'll pay it because you just want to get away.

28. Yogurt.

Gross.

29. Stepping into something wet while wearing socks.

30. Morning radio talk shows.

I don't care what anyone thinks about Kendall Jenner at seven in the morning. I just want to hear Arianna Grande and Nicki Minaj's Side To Side so I can fully wake up on my way to work.


I hope everyone has a very thankful Thanksgiving and an even better Black Friday. 'Tis the season, don't forget to spread the joy and this article!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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