Why Your "#RelationshipGoals" Aren't Actually Goals

Why Your "#RelationshipGoals" Aren't Actually Goals

Why your "#goals" aren't actually goals

Unless you live under a rock, you know exactly what I mean when I say “Relationship Goals." It’s taken over every social media platform that you can think of. Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest; they're all covered with the same pictures and videos you’ve probably seen a million times before.

The problem with our generation is that these “#RelationshipGoals” are NOT goals. Our views on what it means to be in a relationship have completely changed because of social media. We are surrounded by all of these pictures of couples going on these extravagant dates, wearing beautiful clothes, making a picture perfect moment, and receiving expensive gifts all the time. Pictures of boys playing video games, with their girlfriend lying on top of them, while he’s grabbing her perky bubble butt; or of all the cars in the garage labeled “Hers” & “Mine."

So how are these even considered goals? Well, they’re not.

Showering your girlfriend/boyfriend with all of these expensive gifts isn’t going to make them love you any more than they already do. They’ll probably just be obsessed with the idea that you’re willing to buy them expensive materialistic things.

How are going on expensive dates “#RelationshipGoals?" Well, those aren’t either. Once again, that just goes back to the idea of buying your SO things just to put a smile on their face. Your picture perfect moment probably cost you thousands of dollars, so when you’ve realized how much money you spent at the end of the month, you’ll realize that your vacation to the most expensive tropical island probably wasn’t all that worth it.

Now, I am not knocking down the idea that you shouldn’t spend a lot of money for your significant other, but what I am saying is that, if you need to spend big bucks to get them to smile just a little bit, then you have a problem.

The problem is the obsession that we’ve grown to have. We’re so obsessed with all of the things you can receive in a relationship that that’s what people look for in a relationship.

We want people to look at us twice. We want people to see us and think, I wish I was in that relationship. You want to get as many likes as possible on your Instagram post of your brand new watch with the description “#Goals." You want to tweet that cute picture of your boyfriend grabbing your butt. You want to make new Facebook albums with all of your beautiful vacation pictures so all of your friends will look and think that you’re in a picture perfect relationship.

Eventually all the brand name clothes he/she bought you will become “so last season." the jewelry will go out of style, and for those super cute Nikes, well, they come up with newer styles every other day, so those go out so quick.

So then the real question arises, what are actual “Relationship Goals”?

I could ramble on for hours about what your goals should be in a relationship, but for the sake of this article, I’m going to try and shorten it all up a bit.

The MOST important goal to have is to find someone who accepts you for who you are. Cliché? Yeah, I know. But it's still omportant to have someone who makes you feel comfortable when you're around them. You can’t just stick around them for holiday seasons to get all of your little gifts. If you feel comfortable enough to be yourself in your appearance and conversations with them, that’s a huge 'goal.'

What about the whole 'sweatpants, hair tied, chillin’ with no makeup on' ideal? If you have someone who you can be completely bare faced around, flaws and all, then that is 100 percent a relationship goal. We’re all faced with self-confidence issues when we don’t like something about ourselves. But to have someone to tell you that you’re beautiful as you are, that’s something amazing to have.

Support. A good goal is to have your significant other be supportive of you. Someone who will help you through the thick and thin with a smile on their face. Relationships are by no means a walk in the park, things get stressful. Hell, real life gets stressful. But if you have someone to make you breathe and keep moving on, that’s a goal to have.

It's also a goal to just support in what his or her dreams are. If your girlfriend wants to become a doctor or your boyfriend wants to play in the NFL, things do get stressful for them, so a support system is a goal that will make a relationship become so much easier to maintain.

Helping each other with school and making sure is on top of their game to get the best grades they can is something that us college kids in relationships need to strive for. There is nothing better than getting a degree with your boyfriend/girlfriend at your side. That’ll make for an amazing success story.

The final goal is your own little happily ever after. I think a lot of times, people date just for fun and don’t realize that holy shit, I might start my life with this person, until they realize how much they actually don’t like the person. You have to be ready for buying a house together, buying your first car together, starting a family together. That’s when you realize that all of your hard work has finally paid off together.

In 30 years from now, when you’re lying in bed with your husband/wife, you’re going to forget about the time you went on that crazy vacation when you were 18, you’re going to hate those old Nikes that he/she bought you, and you’re probably going to have scratches all over your old Michael Kors watch as it sits at the bottom of your jewelry box.

What I’m trying to say is, change your #RelationshipGoals. Try to grow as a couple and not drown in the materialistic things. Stop thinking that it's cute when he/she takes pictures of them holding your butt and then posts it all over social media, psssst, it’s not. Stop going on dates to the mall and go on a date to the beach. Stop making your relationship look picture perfect via social media when it's falling apart behind closed doors.

There is so many more important things that we all need to be worrying about when maintaining in your relationship, and #TBH, if you’re not concerned about the real relationship goals to have, then I wish you good luck on your happily ever after, you’ll need it.

Cover Image Credit: kailamaee.tumblr.com

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To The Girl Struggling With Her Body Image

It's not about the size of your jeans, but the size of your heart, soul, and spirit.


To the girl struggling with her body image,

You are more than the number on the scale. You are more than the number on your jeans and dresses. You are way more than the number of pounds you've gained or lost in whatever amount of time.

Weight is defined as the quantity of matter contained by a body or object. Weight does not define your self-worth, ambition or potential.

So many girls strive for validation through the various numbers associated with body image and it's really so sad seeing such beautiful, incredible women become discouraged over a few numbers that don't measure anything of true significance.

Yes, it is important to live a healthy lifestyle. Yes, it is important to take care of yourself. However, taking care of yourself includes your mental health as well. Neglecting either your mental or physical health will inflict problems on the other. It's very easy to get caught up in the idea that you're too heavy or too thin, which results in you possibly mistreating your body in some way.

Your body is your special, beautiful temple. It harbors all of your thoughts, feelings, characteristics, and ideas. Without it, you wouldn't be you. If you so wish to change it in a healthy way, then, by all means, go ahead. With that being said, don't make changes to impress or please someone else. You are the only person who is in charge of your body. No one else has the right to tell you whether or not your body is good enough. If you don't satisfy their standards, then you don't need that sort of negative influence in your life. That sort of manipulation and control is extremely unhealthy in its own regard.

Do not hold back on things you love or want to do because of how you interpret your body. You are enough. You are more than enough. You are more than your exterior. You are your inner being, your spirit. A smile and confidence are the most beautiful things you can wear.

It's not about the size of your jeans. It's about the size of your mind and heart. Embrace your body, observe and adore every curve, bone and stretch mark. Wear what makes you feel happy and comfortable in your own skin. Do your hair and makeup (or don't do either) to your heart's desire. Wear the crop top you've been eyeing up in that store window. Want a bikini body? Put a bikini on your body, simple.

So, as hard as it may seem sometimes, understand that the number on the scale doesn't measure the amount or significance of your contributions to this world. Just because that dress doesn't fit you like you had hoped doesn't mean that you're any less of a person.

Love your body, and your body will love you right back.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Margliotti

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