If I had a nickel for every time someone told me they wanted me to try a slice of pizza outside of New York that was "just as good, if not better!', I'd have enough money to buy a delicious slice of greasy, cheesy, thin and crispy NY pizza. Surely better than the 40 slices I had to try to earn all those nickels.

Unfortunately, I am not being paid to reject the validity of shops that claim things like 'Real NYC Pizza' on neon signs in their windows. Instead I will provide you a few qualifiers for what makes a good slice.

First things first, we must consider the importance of the dough. While the glory of New York tap water plays a big part in what makes a good crust, something about the thinness of the dough and its combination of sturdiness and softness are what make a NY slice a game changer. I often find in the slices I am convinced to try, the crust is always my least favorite part. They always remind me of Domino's, with a crust way to puffy to be fresh dough. The frozen pizza taste is rarely as satisfying as one of these beauties.

This brings me to the next two important factors. The cheese and the sauce. I feel like every slice I try outside of New York is always way too marinara-y. My belief is to keep the tomato in tomato sauce! Nothing like a nice chunk of crushed tomato peeking out from underneath the cheese. And of course the cheese. It seems like most places just can't get down the proper cheese to sauce ratio and you end up with too much or hardly enough.

Oh, and fresh mozzarella definitely doesn't hurt.

Another key factor you can't forget about. THE GREASE! I know, it sounds totally gross, but their is nothing like the greasy drip of a hot cheese slice from a small New York pizzeria. The anticipation and slight annoyance when carrying a pizza box with grease stains forming in its corners is an unexpectedly enjoyable feeling.

Still, what really makes for an authentic New York slice? You could argue that all of the factors I previously mentioned could be duplicated anywhere with the right ingredients and chef. Sure, maybe that is true and I'm just another New York pizza snob.

But I think what really makes for an authentic slice, is all about environment. Something about sitting in a pizzeria in New York, with dingy lighting, neon signs, too many mirrors and creaky faux wooden booths just makes it taste that much better.

Knowing that the oven warming my slice has probably been doing the exact same thing for as long as I've been alive or that the patrons have had the same usual for 15 years just make the pizza eating experience that much better.