When I was little, I used to have to sleep with my door wide open and the bathroom light on. I couldn’t stand to be in a room that was draped in absolute darkness. I was terrified of anything under my bed, in the closet, or that I couldn’t or wouldn’t be able to see. Now that I’m older, I can’t fall asleep unless it is pitch black in my room.

Fear is something that surrounds each day. We face it when we lose someone, have to try something new, or are put in uncomfortable situations. We overcome fear every day as well as we push through new barriers and take each day one step at a time. Fear is learned, and that is why Franklin D. Roosevelt coined his famous line, “We have nothing to fear, but fear itself.” We should be afraid of being afraid because fear is what holds us back.

We as humans are born with two innate fears: fear of falling and fear of loud noises. So where do we begin to pick up our other fears? Some say that we learn from a very young age through stories and experiences. I think that our fears are formed from things we become too afraid to lose.

My biggest fear is being helpless. Not having anyone there to take care of me, talk to, or being literally helpless. I compare it to the moment of when you’re being held down and tickled and suddenly your whole body tenses up and you can’t breathe. You are unable to move, yet this person just keeps tickling you, and you’re unable to scream or tell them you can’t breathe.

We as humans aren’t necessarily afraid of these things, but more afraid of the fear it entices. A spider itself isn’t entirely harmful, but the possibility that it could be is what scares you. You aren’t always entirely helpless, but the idea of it and the dreadful feeling one might get makes it unbearable to think about.

We learn to fear the unknown. We learn to fear things that we don’t know how they will end up. If we get bit by a spider, we don’t know what will happen. Will we just get a small bump, or will we die from the poison? If we are left entirely with no one to help us, we don’t know if we will be able to make it by ourselves or find someone new to help us.

Fear is learned, and that’s why we must learn to not be afraid of fear. If we allow ourselves to continuously be afraid of new things and the unknown, we will never be able to find our full potential in life. We don’t know what we are fully capable of until we allow ourselves to just let go of any inhibitions.

Who knows? I might be holding myself back with my fear of helplessness. Perhaps I am too afraid to try new things or get out of my comfort zone just because I’m afraid of what I might lose or if I’ll have to face it on my own. I guess that’s for me to figure out.