Please don't change just because one girl broke your heart.
I know it seems silly, probably dumb to some, but changing yourself over one person, even three people, just is not worth it. You spent years becoming who you are, and you like who you are enough to keep going everyday, so don't change. Don't let go of being kind and forgiving, or having the rare quality of being understanding. It's rare because most guys get their hearts broken once and shut down. They become another player in the game. Literally.
Guys give up, which is understandable. Getting your heart broken is no easy task to overcome. The more it happens, the more discouraging it is. You start to question yourself and what you are doing wrong that you keep attracting these girls who continue to break your heart.
Please stop thinking it is you, it's not.
No guy is the same, just like no girl is the same. Not every guy is a player or a cheater, just like every girl isn't a psycho or high maintenance. The bad news is that this is what dating is. It is a matching game of trying to find the one compatible person in this world that you don't want to kill after being with for two days straight.
As a girl, I think it's all too common to forget that you have feelings, too. No matter the gender, ending any type of relationship with another person is never easy for both parties involved. Yes, sometimes the decision may seem easy, but that doesn't mean a guy doesn't feel just as much pain or regret as a girl, they just have very different ways of showing it.
Girls can buy a pint of Ben and Jerry's, settle into bed with The Notebook playing and A Walk To Remember on deck, spoon in hand. I would be amazed to find a boy coping with a breakup in that manner. You'll find him in the garage working on their vehicle of choice or posting pictures on Snapchat and Instagram of himself out at the bar with his friends.
My point is, no one should make you feel like you need to change who you are. At risk of sounding cliché, there is someone in the world who will have all the best attributes of your ex's without all the negatives. It's just a matter of patience and confidence. Be patient and willing to go back into the game with the experience of your ex under your belt. Be willing to let go of the hurt you are holding on to and projecting that on to every girl you see.
So, take your quirks, your good and your bad, and carry them until you find someone who wants to carry it for you; the rest will fall into place.
