I'm sure you've heard it 574 times by now: don't settle for less than you deserve. However, this advice is hard to take when you're so ready to be in a relationship. When you look around and see so many happy couples, it's easy to want that so badly that you find yourself entertaining the idea of being with someone who you don't even like all that much, or someone who doesn’t consider you a priority. So, this is a note to myself, advice that I need to heed and always keep in the forefront of my mind.
I've mentioned the idea of valuable and priceless love in one of my previous articles and while I want that so bad, I think part of myself has been expecting that to be instantaneous upon meeting someone. My grandparents knew instantly that they would end up together, and on a less serious note, I have a friend who met someone over spring break and they’ve been inseparable ever since. Why can't I have that too?
There are moments where I’ll meet someone and think “wow, this guy is incredible. I could see a future with him,” and sometimes it seems like the feeling is mutual. I guess the problem is that I get so hopeful. When possibilities seem bright and “#goals”-worthy, I tend to latch on to the idea of being in a relationship with that person without pausing to consider whether things are happening too fast or if the other person even wants the relationship.
I’m tired of flings, but I’m even more tired of catching feelings for someone who will only end up changing their mind before things even get started. While I think it is perfectly acceptable for people to change their mind--especially if they’re not happy--it’s just a little frustrating to think that someone is all about you until reality hits them and you suddenly feel like you’re put on the sidelines.
I am tired of finally feeling confident enough to start breaking down the walls I’ve built only to need them rebuilt a week later. It’s exhausting and in turn, disheartening. While I am a firm believer in everything happens for a reason, I wish that “everything” didn’t come with so many wasted emotions.
Settling for less than you deserve isn’t OK. I want a relationship where I feel extremely lucky to have that person in my life. I want a relationship that thrives on open communication and honesty. I don’t want someone who guilts me into doing things, I want to feel motivated to do them because I care about the person. I want a relationship where they inspire me to be better.
I do trust that there is a greater plan, a script already written. I honestly feel like I’m ready to start something real. I’m ready to see who I can love and who can love me. I’m ready to completely tear down these tall brick walls and leave them down for longer than a week and a half.
