First I want to start off by saying that I am sorry. I am sorry for all of the cuts, bruises, and scars that have found their way on to you. I am sorry for all the junk food and all the coffee that I have filled you up with. I am sorry for all of the nasty things I have said to you, all of the abuse I put you through. I am sorry for the hurtful words and the threats. I'm sorry for spending so much time hating you when I should've spent all that time loving you. I am sorry for the past, but there is something I want you to know that in my almost 19 years of life I have never said to you; I love you.
I love that you are mine and you are unique to me and who I am. I love that you keep me alive and you have the power to survive and heal yourself. I love how strong you are and have been. I love that you have not failed me. I also want you to know that I don't mind the marks that are on you that appeared not from my doing. I am beginning to love your marks, the dots and the stretch marks. The scars and some of your chronic aches. I love you regardless of your flaws and regardless of your faults. I vow to take better care of you in so many ways, the way I eat, my lack of exercise, and the way I see you. I vow that I will not hate you anymore, I will not shut you down or see you as a failure, I will see you as the work in progress that you are. I will cheer you on and help you out.
I also want to thank you. I want to thank you first and foremost for not letting me die when that was all I wanted to do. I want to thank you for fighting off the viruses and bacteria that have from time to time invaded you. I want to thank you for sewing yourself back together when my clumsiness formed canyons in you. Thank you for evening yourself out when I've fallen and left dents in you. Thank you for protecting me.
I ask one thing of you, please be patient with me. While I learn to love you and forget how to hate you, please be patient with me. I have engrained it into my mind that you will never be good enough, please be patient while I erase that and replace it with only praises about you. Please be patient while I teach myself that there is nothing wrong with you. Please be patient while I learn to love you for the first time.
