Upon browsing through Odyssey, I've found many articles on "hookup culture," or the dating trend of millennials to breed relationships purely based on abrupt physicality rather than getting to know one's partner, taking them out on dates, etc. While several of these articles were unbiased, I was overwhelmed by the amount of writers that were critiquing hookup culture, and exclaiming how it is a vice to our generation, claims that I wholeheartedly disagree with.
Dating apps such as Tinder, OK Cupid, Her, and Grindr, among others, have revolutionized dating for millennials, allowing people to pair up when they want, how they want, and whenever they want. Rather than the traditional and formerly mandatory style of dating when someone would actually be forced to talk to the person they are interested in face to face, these applications have made this technique optional. While the ability to quickly connect with other people has been praised and utilized by a substantial amount of millennials, there seems to be an equal amount of people who are against this new, fast-paced way of dating and cling to more traditional ways. While this is a fair opinion, it is opinions and claims such as this that often lead to slut shaming, which is defined by Urban Dictionary as "an unfortunate phenomenon in which people degrade or mock a woman because she enjoys having sex, has sex a lot, or may just be rumored to participate in sexual activity."
Often, when one of my acquaintances said that they had found me or one of my friends on Tinder, we would often feel embarrassed, for reasons that we still cannot pinpoint. Why do we feel such an underlying judgement when people find us on matchmaking social media? Women are often targets for being judged by one's peers for even so much as openly exploring their sexuality. I've found that those who create such a potent taboo against hookup culture are often the ones that are very set against it, and use the shaming of other women's private sexual experiences to structure their arguments. Not only is it nobody's business but the woman and her partners, but partaking in these actions does not diminish her good qualities as a person, despite how long or how well she knew her partners.
In addition to slut shaming, at the root of many of these arguments is the plea for the remembrance of the "hopeless romantic," a prototype which claims to be overlooked in a sex-obsessed generation. These hopeless romantics swear to be the last of millennials who still believe in being asked out on dates, meeting the parents, or any other traditional steps in a heteronormative relationship. The hopeless romantic laments for traditional dating tactics and claims them to be obsolete in the present generation, a concept that is arguably false. Present day hookup culture is simply a detour from traditional styles of dating. Similarly to how there are people that pursue relationships on Tinder or following the trends of hookup culture, there is still a copious amount of people who still believe in getting to know someone before getting physical, and these people should not be judged either.
Someone's personal preferences as far as how to pursue partnerships should not be judged or shamed by those who have differing preferences or opinions, but should rather be dealt with privately, only in consultation with the people that they are involved with. Dating strategies are changing, whether romantics want to embrace them or not, and it is ultimately the individual's choice of how they want to pursue their private affairs.
