Halloween is a competition and anyone who tells you different is just bitter because they're losing. Thankfully for you, I've spent all of the time between last Halloween and now coming up with costume ideas to win said competition. Halloween costume brainstorming makes up roughly about 2% of my thoughts at any given moment along with 9% baby name brainstorming, 10% thinking about what Taylor Swift is doing right about now, 11% music video fantasizing, 12% thinking about food, and 16% reflecting on my Snapchat story among other things. It's a small percentage but it's always there. So naturally I've come up with quite a few killers. Gather around children, you'll want to bookmark this one.
1. An Embarrassing Dad
This was my own costume from last year. It was not only a hit but it was both easy and entertaining to get into character. I wore a shirt that I ironically gave to my dad myself when I was 5 with my tiny little handprints on it and in rainbow colors the words Best Dad in the World. I matched(?) that with khaki shorts and a fanny pack which also served conveniently for holding my stuff. In my back pocket I carried around a wallet with pictures of children I had cut out from magazines insisting they were mine and that they were quite a handful but Johnny hit a home run at his baseball game this season. I wore white tennis shoes with white socks, naturally. I even carried around a mug that said 1# Dad which my own dad gave to my proudly when I told him I was dressing as him for Halloween which is truly the ultimate dad-ception. Unfortunately being the disappointing child I am, I went to a party and lost it. Pictured above is my actual dad and my uncle being being very dad-like as American tourists in Europe.
2. A Knight in Shining Armor
Popular girls costumes are all about taking regular costumes and making them "sexy" but I'm all about taking typical boys' costumes and making them my own. This costume requires sword, armor, and all. You might be able to work with some elements from a boy's large size costume from the store depending on your size. Whenever anyone is in a semi dangerous situation such as someone's about to spill something on them or they ran out of snacks you might swoop in and utter the phrase "I'll save you!" because after all that's what knights do. They're brave, valiant, and noble-- just like you'll feel when you wear this costume.
3. A school yard bully
This can be interpreted creatively but I would recommend overalls, a torn and faded t-shirt and a backwards hat with converse. Some of those gloves that have the finger part cut off would be a good accessory. Pig tails might also be appropriate. To really pull off this costume you have to act the part. Constantly punch your fist into your palm with a mean look on your face and anytime you talk to anyone demand their lunch money. Grabbing people by the collar can go one of two ways but you should do it anyway because you can't break character with these type of things. Unrelated, this happens to be exactly how Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen dressed in the 90s.
4. Shrek
Enough said. Who wouldn't want to be Shrek. Be sure to paint your face and entire body green.
5. Jesus
I've seen men dress up as Jesus but I've never seen a girl do it. Jesus was extremely cool in that he was nice to everyone, he rose from the dead, etc. etc. He also wore comfortable clothes because you know Jesus didn't care about fashion. Also you've got your go-to pose which is looking up into the heavens with your hands folded in prayer. Or the pose pictured above will also do nicely. Literally do not break this pose. Not to mention that dressing as Jesus for Halloween will make you think twice about any bad decisions you're tempted to make. Because literally, what would Jesus do? Beard is optional but preferred.
6. Joan of Arc
Joan of Arc is debatably one of the coolest girls who will appear in your history textbook and her feats are nothing short of #goals. She was born to a peasant family and early on began having visions of saints and angels telling her to recover France from English domination in the 100 Year War. She fought valiantly in the war and was considered a heroine, but she was eventually captured but the English and burned at the stake at only nineteen years old. She was so brave, strong, and admirable and she was only a teenager while accomplishing such amazing tasks-- all on her own. Why wouldn't you want to be her for Halloween?! Costume requires roughly the same material as knight in shining armor but Joan of Arc is also a Catholic saint so you could even add a halo of some sort to the costume.
7. A Unicorn
Taylor Swift did it and so can you. The key to this costume is the magic words "There is no such things as too much glitter." If you're doing it right you'll leave a trail of glitter everywhere you go, just like real unicorns do.
