We've all been listening to songs, the media, pop culture, and watching those films that seem to fill our minds with what the "ideal" partner should be - or how relationships should be defined. Take the movie (500) Days ofSummer for example. The movie starts out with a sad, lonely, semi-brooding young man working for a card making company when he all of a sudden wakes up to the "girl of his dreams". Before this, he had been wallowing around in pity and discouragement because he was afraid that "he would never truly be happy until he found the one". This charming girl rolls into his life and and she spontaneously gives him meaning to his life. I mean, when we fall in love, it's only natural to feel this all new burst of energy and happiness; the world seems a bit brighter and everything seems lighter and it's normal to feel unbelievably high, almost. But this young man puts everything into this girl - even when she told him that she wasn't interested in anything from the serious right from the start. But, I'm digressing. My point here is that people watch these films and try to relate them to their own personal lives. They learn from the movies, and they understand the mistakes that are made (i.e., how the young man from (500) Days never truly listened to the girl he was infatuated with) but in the end, we all end up wanting something like that - we think it's possible, and we compare our lives to reality, putting certain potential lovers on a pedestal. And that's just not fair.

Manic Pixie Dream Girl: (MPDG), a stock character type in films; It refers to "that bubbly, shallow cinematic creature that exists solely in the fevered imaginations of sensitive writer-directors to teach broodingly soulful young men to embrace life and its infinite mysteries and adventures." A pretty, outgoing, wacky female romantic lead whose sole purpose is to help broody male characters lighten up and enjoy their lives.

In other words, a more fun and creative way of saying "Someone who doesn't exist, because women are not perfect. We weren't put on this planet to give men a sort of meaning to their lives, or to be the "supporting role" to their heroic story. Women will never be the most ideal creature to a man, because they will never be everything that they want". But that's the beauty in it - falling in love with someone who has a few messy traits, imperfections, and differences. The things that contrast with the opposite person is what makes it really work. But the Manic Pixie Dream Girl is just hopeful thinking - and it's bad to try and place that onto a woman. I'm writing about this again, because I think it's very important. I look at it as a real thing, because people don't identify it as "Manic Pixie Dream Girl" (because they see that more as a trope or typecast in films) but they see it all the time. When a man puts a girl on a pedestal and sees her as this perfect creature who can do no wrong, and brings them this purpose to live, and somehow puts all of their energy into depicting them as one hundred person faultless, quintessential human being. But that's just not the case. Underneath that illusion is just a young woman who is trying to get through her life just as anyone else, a woman who has a history, who has feelings and doesn't want to mess up, or be highly thought of in a way that all there is to meet are high expectations. I say this stuff because I know . . . I've been classified more or less, as a Manic Pixie Dream Girl myself. Nobody has said it out-loud, because that would be strange, but it's all the same characteristics. It's put a lot of unwanted pressure on me, to be "that girl", to strive to be everything that he wanted and more. But little did they all know that I had my own world to sort out - just like them.

I can't always be happy-go-lucky or bubbly all the time. Sometimes I am a mess, I make stupid decisions and I want to be alone. There are days where I get really depressed and upset and I look terrible and I don't act like myself. In past relationships, if I got like that, they would get upset or try to change me back to someone who I wasn't. It was exhausting. There was this one fellow whom I dated for quite some time and he told me that I was "his dream girl", and when he described that to me after five years of off and on dating, I knew that it wasn't genuine - he just wanted someone to numb his own pain, to forget his own life. And there was no way I was going to be that girl. I was a person, too. Before all that, he had tried to transform me into his own personal dream girl. Specifically, it was that goal of altering me into this "dorky, nerdy, video-gaming girl" who got along perfectly with all of his friends. He tried to get me into ALL of the things that he was interested in, but I just wasn't. I thought it was okay for us to not be completely in sync with our interests. However, he wanted me to be this girl that I just wasn't, and all for the sake of his needs. Looking back now, I realize that I wasn't exactly good enough for him and there were days that I would let him alter me sometimes, just so I could make him happy. But that wasn't me. I wasn't this inanimate object that he could modify or change. I was a girl who needed her boyfriend to be there for her. For her.

I'll tell people that I'm not perfect. I'll purposely list off a bunch of my down-falls and imperfections to someone just to get it through their illusion-ed mindset that I'm not some "muse" or a project. Sometimes I know that isn't always what they are thinking, but by the way they act or describe me at times, that's not how it always feels. The main thing is, I wasn't made to save anybody, and that's not my mission in life. I don't want to just be admired by a guy because they think that I can save them and pull them out of depression or something. I want them to love and appreciate me for me, and realize that not only am I perfect, but nobody is. (We grew up knowing this concept, but sometimes, we get so lost in our own chaotic minds that we forget and need to be reminded) It's important to remember that what we see on the screen can really impact our own lives. When we see Tom Hansen putting Summer Finn on a pedestal, we automatically want a Summer Finn of our own. It's only natural to want something that seems so shallow, so perfect and obtains no inner thoughts or conflict, no backstory. Something . . . simple. But if you've seen the movie, you find out that Summer is far from simple. She's a human just like anyone else.

I haven't really understood why Hollywood created this trope for women, and put them in this glass box of "perfection and physical beauty". Like I've said a million times already, pop-culture really effects how we view our own world. The fantasy world that are movies with Manic Pixie Dream Girl typecasts in them, including Garden State, Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World, Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind, Ruby Sparks, The Case of You, Paper Towns, Elizabethtown, Roman Holiday, and even the character Jess from the TV show New Girl, are sometimes reminders for what we should look for in people, or what we want, what is popular, what is desired. I think watching these movies with these characters are entertaining, and I love all of the films that I listed above. Still, I think it's important to keep in mind that they are just movies and they will not compare to the real women in this world. I think we all know that, but we have to be reminded that an faulty girl is the ideal girl: The real girl of your dreams.

P.S. There is one thing about the Manic Pixie Dream Girl that I'm fine with. Totally fine with, actually. They are *usually* depicted as adorable, eccentric, smart and creative. Yeah I mean, those are cool parts of it. So there's that.