Whether we heard it in a movie or were unfortunate enough to have our heartbroken by the phrase, we have all experienced the simple but powerful few words. Although I am not one for clichés when handling a delicate situation such as a break up, I unfortunately am guilty of using this one in the past. But I have also had this phrase rip my heart out more times than I can count. Looking back on my reasoning to use such a line, I realized just how true it really was. In the moment it really was me, not the other person.
It's not you.
This is 100 percent accurate. Whoever is using such a line on you is truly the one at fault. They most likely pursued something with you to make them feel better about themselves. This remains true no matter what you two were defined as whether it was friends, FWBs, "talking" or officially dating. The person using this line feels some sort of insecurity in themselves and has finally come to terms with the fact that they need to fix this problem before it becomes worse. They have the issue that needs fixing, NOT YOU.
It's me...
Well, damn right it is. Whether they used the other ever popular (but also valid) cliché of "I need time" or they gave you little to no explanation, it is still on them. They need to figure out their own life, explore feelings for someone else, move past a difficult time or whatever other reasons they have. And these things make having a committed relationship hard to balance. So it truly is on them. When they say, "… it's me" you better believe them.
So… What now?
After you recover from the terrible blow of this cliché, it's time to help yourself. You need to realize that this does not mean you were a mistake, you are never a mistake. At one point, this person wanted you in their life and the two of you enjoyed your relationship to whatever extent it reached. This means that you should never look at the other person as a mistake either, at some point they were exactly what you wanted. So dust yourself off, pick yourself up and take that first baby step towards your future.
After all, it wasn't you that had insecurities that ruined a once great relationship; it was truly them.
