“The possible side effect that women may recieve if her father has been absent in some part of her life, her father has abused or neglected her, or if her father has simply failed to fulfill his responsibilities/duties as a parent (physically or emotionally). Having daddy issues may cause the following-
• Acting slutily or whoreificly
• Dressing in a non-modest manner
• Going out of her way to grab an older man's attention…”
This is the most recent definition of Daddy Issues on Urban Dictionary. There are so many things wrong with this definition that I don’t even know where to begin.
I guess the main issue I have with the term Daddy Issues and what it means is that it’s something else my father took away from me. Whenever a guy hears that my father isn’t in my life anymore, most start salivating. They believe what society tells them to believe about me, more than what I have presented them. They think I’m going to go home with them. That I’m easy. They suddenly aren’t interested in my accomplishments and what I like to do for fun on the weekend. They are thinking of ways to shower me with affection the way my father didn’t. My father did that to me. He took away the way people see me upon hearing about him being gone. I immediately stopped being me and became a girl with Daddy Issues. Society did that to all of the fatherless females out there.
Whenever I heard Barney Stinson talk about girls with Daddy Issues, I cringe.
“...They’re easily confused. It’s one of the thousand little things I love about them. I love their vacant, trusting stares; their sluggish, unencumbered minds; their unresolved daddy issues….”
In my father’s absence I have overcome statistic upon statistic. I don’t abuse drugs or alcohol, I didn’t become a teen mom, and I’m not in prison. I not only finished high school but I went on to college and got my degree in three years. I did things my father told me I couldn’t. I did things I didn’t think I could do.
But even if I didn’t do those things, even if I was someone who didn’t make it out of the statistic, I should be able to present myself how I want to and be heard that way.
Dating has become something I dread. I avoid talking about my family at all costs because I know the dreaded, “What do your parents do?” question will come up sooner than I want it to. It’s then that I have to make a judgement call. Do I lie and begin whatever this is on the wrong foot? Or do I tell the truth and risk being seen as an easy lay, even if nothing else about me gives that impression?
Stop telling me I have Daddy Issues. I am so much more than my father’s absence and I am so much more than the stigma that comes with it. I am braver, smarter, and more independent because he left me. That’s not something to overlook.
