Dear you,

I’ve procrastinated this letter for so long, simply because I knew I would stare at this blank page and forget everything I want to say to you.

I don’t know if I can even call it an almost relationship, because you made it clear you didn’t want that to be the end goal.

We always seemed to find our way back together, even if it was just for a little while at a time. Regardless of how far we strayed, or what we had done in our time away, we would find our way back. It was strange, really. We would go for months without seeing each other, and then the moment we did, it was like a force pushed us together.

I want you to know, that I always wanted us to work out.

To this day, it still baffles my mind how at one point you made me feel so safe, and like the most beautiful girl in world, and at other times made me feel like the ugliest.

Though we’ve both been with other people in our time apart, I have up to this day always wished it were you.

I am not sorry for caring too much, overthinking or drunk texting you a million times.

I think we both have some growing up to do, so, for now, I am moving on from you. I think you have some maturing to do and I hope you learn how to show your emotions, and I need to grow without thoughts of you and what we had.

But I also want to thank you. Thank you for giving me the most safe and protected feeling when I was with you. Thank you for listening to me and consoling me in my times of need and grief, making me laugh and for making me a priority at one time in your life.

More importantly, thank you for showing me what I don’t want out of a relationship, and for giving me the confidence to walk away from people that are not benefitting my life. Thank you for showing me what a relationship should not be like, and making me realize how I should be treated.

At one point, I regretted you. At my most heartbroken point, I wish I had never met you, because then I would not be hurting because of you.

But now, after all this time, deep in my heart, I truly want the best for you.

I am a strong believer that what’s meant to be, will be. And, if we are meant to be, and part of me still hopes we are, that one day, at the right time and the right place, we will find our way back together like we always have.

And if that day never comes, I hope you learned to decide how you feel about the girl of your dreams. Decide if you’re in or out, not be so on and off, and then love her with all your heart. But if that day comes, I’ll talk to you then.

Love,

Anna