This past year, I was not involved with anyone at all. Call it a cleanse, if you will, of the stupidity and overall suckiness of the male species. Now don't get me wrong! I have a ton of guy friends who are all sweet and fantastic young men but once you're on the outside of everyone's relationship problems, you see why boys kinda suck at it.
Allow me to elaborate.
Since I was not involved with anyone, I had a front row seat to all of my girl friend's boy problems. I've heard every complaint about the male species under the sun and it's made me realize that college boys are the worst. It also made me realize that we, as females, use the term "boy" far too much. "I'm talking to this boy" or "this boy keeps giving me mixed signals" and that's mistake number one. We are going after boys. We want men, ladies, not boys. The difference is in their maturity level as you will see in the following, real-life examples of why boys are the absolute worst.
As many college females have experienced and will experience (there's no avoiding it, ladies so saddle up) you will be talking to one particular guy. You will be talking, hanging out, flirting, hooking up, being each other's date to date functions and basically doing all things that fall under the definition of "dating" but you haven't defined the relationship other than the fact that you're exclusive and you like him, he likes you.
Basically, you'll suffer in relationship limbo, a place where you have no earthly idea WHAT you guys are and the second you try to DTR, he freaks out and runs away. Guys have commitment issues. Especially in college. Nobody really knows why but I guess it's been like that since the dawn of time? It's probably something in their genetic makeup to avoid at all costs, being in a relationship.
Another example of why guys are the absolute worst when it comes to all this messy dating-not dating stuff is that they, for the life of them, cannot take a hint. They don't know how to read facial cues, tones of voice or emotional cues like when to stop making fun of you when you're upset with them or when you're flirting with them. You could be walking around with a sign saying "I am flirting with you" and they still won't get it. Then they get pissed when you give up on them and try to flirt with someone else to make them jealous but then when they flirt with other girls and you get upset, they play the victim, acting like they did nothing wrong. So basically, they can't read it when you're flirting with them but they can read it loud and clear when you're flirting with someone else but it's OK when they flirt with another girl? Got it.
This past year, I re-downloaded Tinder just for poo-poos and ha-has. And yeesh, I forgot how brash and straightforward dudes are on these dating apps. I think I've heard and re-heard every pickup line ever and seen every annoying winky-faced gif ever created. I only re-joined Tinder for fun and to maybe make some new friends or have a conversation but that really wasn't the case. I also tend to swipe right on people that I know just because I personally find it amusing. One personal experience I had was I matched with a guy I went to high school with but never talked to all four years.
Ever since then, he's been bombarding me with messages on every social media platform you can think of even after I said I wasn't interested in pursuing anything with him which brings me to point three: guys try to have this hyper-masculinity when it comes to trying to get with a girl and it's actually kind of annoying so dudes who are reading this, tone down the testosterone and just be yourself.
Finally, guys, for whatever reason, think that they're God's gift to the world and the greatest thing that'll ever happen to you and that you will absolutely perish at the thought of not being with them. Some guys play this mind game where they act all loyal and loving one day and then completely 180 on you and tear you to shreds, making you cry and question what's wrong with you. Then, they come back and apologize, claiming they'll never hurt you again and you accept it. That's a sign of a toxic relationship and it needs to end completely, ASAP.
True, we can't live with 'em and we can't live without 'em but if I learned anything from my year without boys is that you do not constantly need a man to make you happy and complete. Sure, it's a nice vote of confidence to have one but this year really taught me what to look for in a guy, what's a healthy relationship and what's a toxic/fake relationship and how to handle playboys like the ones you encounter in college.
Ladies, we need to find guys who know what they want and will treat you with the respect you deserve. Which brings me back around in a full circle, date men, not boys.