(Not-So) Breaking News: Boys Are Still The Worst

(Not-So) Breaking News: Boys Are Still The Worst

What is it about them that makes them so difficult?
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This past year, I was not involved with anyone at all. Call it a cleanse, if you will, of the stupidity and overall suckiness of the male species. Now don't get me wrong! I have a ton of guy friends who are all sweet and fantastic young men but once you're on the outside of everyone's relationship problems, you see why boys kinda suck at it.

Allow me to elaborate.

Since I was not involved with anyone, I had a front row seat to all of my girl friend's boy problems. I've heard every complaint about the male species under the sun and it's made me realize that college boys are the worst. It also made me realize that we, as females, use the term "boy" far too much. "I'm talking to this boy" or "this boy keeps giving me mixed signals" and that's mistake number one. We are going after boys. We want men, ladies, not boys. The difference is in their maturity level as you will see in the following, real-life examples of why boys are the absolute worst.

As many college females have experienced and will experience (there's no avoiding it, ladies so saddle up) you will be talking to one particular guy. You will be talking, hanging out, flirting, hooking up, being each other's date to date functions and basically doing all things that fall under the definition of "dating" but you haven't defined the relationship other than the fact that you're exclusive and you like him, he likes you.

Basically, you'll suffer in relationship limbo, a place where you have no earthly idea WHAT you guys are and the second you try to DTR, he freaks out and runs away. Guys have commitment issues. Especially in college. Nobody really knows why but I guess it's been like that since the dawn of time? It's probably something in their genetic makeup to avoid at all costs, being in a relationship.

Another example of why guys are the absolute worst when it comes to all this messy dating-not dating stuff is that they, for the life of them, cannot take a hint. They don't know how to read facial cues, tones of voice or emotional cues like when to stop making fun of you when you're upset with them or when you're flirting with them. You could be walking around with a sign saying "I am flirting with you" and they still won't get it. Then they get pissed when you give up on them and try to flirt with someone else to make them jealous but then when they flirt with other girls and you get upset, they play the victim, acting like they did nothing wrong. So basically, they can't read it when you're flirting with them but they can read it loud and clear when you're flirting with someone else but it's OK when they flirt with another girl? Got it.

This past year, I re-downloaded Tinder just for poo-poos and ha-has. And yeesh, I forgot how brash and straightforward dudes are on these dating apps. I think I've heard and re-heard every pickup line ever and seen every annoying winky-faced gif ever created. I only re-joined Tinder for fun and to maybe make some new friends or have a conversation but that really wasn't the case. I also tend to swipe right on people that I know just because I personally find it amusing. One personal experience I had was I matched with a guy I went to high school with but never talked to all four years.

Ever since then, he's been bombarding me with messages on every social media platform you can think of even after I said I wasn't interested in pursuing anything with him which brings me to point three: guys try to have this hyper-masculinity when it comes to trying to get with a girl and it's actually kind of annoying so dudes who are reading this, tone down the testosterone and just be yourself.

Finally, guys, for whatever reason, think that they're God's gift to the world and the greatest thing that'll ever happen to you and that you will absolutely perish at the thought of not being with them. Some guys play this mind game where they act all loyal and loving one day and then completely 180 on you and tear you to shreds, making you cry and question what's wrong with you. Then, they come back and apologize, claiming they'll never hurt you again and you accept it. That's a sign of a toxic relationship and it needs to end completely, ASAP.

True, we can't live with 'em and we can't live without 'em but if I learned anything from my year without boys is that you do not constantly need a man to make you happy and complete. Sure, it's a nice vote of confidence to have one but this year really taught me what to look for in a guy, what's a healthy relationship and what's a toxic/fake relationship and how to handle playboys like the ones you encounter in college.

Ladies, we need to find guys who know what they want and will treat you with the respect you deserve. Which brings me back around in a full circle, date men, not boys.

Cover Image Credit: Maddy Whitfield

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I'd Rather Be Single Than Settle: Here Is Why Being Picky Is Okay.

They're on their best behavior when you're dating.
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Dating nowadays described in one word: annoying. What's even more annoying? when people tell you that you're being too "picky" when it comes to dating. Yes, from an outside perspective sometimes that's exactly what it looks like; however, when looking at it from my perspective it all makes sense. I've heard it all, "He was cute, why didn't you like him?" "You didn't even give him a chance!" "You pay too much attention to the little things!"

What people don't understand is that it's OKAY to be picky when it comes to guys. For some reason, girls in college freak out and think they're supposed to have a boyfriend by now, be engaged by the time they graduate, etc. It's all a little ridiculous; however, I refuse to put myself on a time table such as this due to the fact that these girls who feel this way are left with no choice but to overlook the things in guys that they shouldn't be overlooking, they're settling and this is something that I refuse to do.

So this leaves the big question: What am I waiting for?

Well, I'm waiting for a guy who...

1. Wants to know my friends.

Blessed doesn't even begin to describe how lucky I am to have the friends that I do. I want a guy who can hang out with my friends. If a guy makes an effort to impress your friends then that says a lot about him and how he feels about you. This not only shows that he cares about you but he cares about the people in your life as well. Someone should be happy to see you happy and your friends contribute to that happiness, therefore, they should be nothing more than supportive and caring towards you and your friendships.

2. Actually, cares to get to know me.

Although this is a very broad statement, this is the most important one. A guy should want to know all about you. He should want to know your favorite movie, favorite ice cream flavor, favorite Netflix series, etc. Often, (the guys I get stuck on dates with) love to talk about themselves: they would rather tell you about what workout they did yesterday, what their job is, and what they like to do rather than get to know you.

This is something easy to spot on the first date, so although they may be "cute," you should probably drop them if you leave your date and can recite everything about their life since the day they were born, yet they didn't catch what your last name was.

3. How they talk about other women.

THIS IS CRUCIAL FOR FINDING A NICE GUY. It does not matter who they're talking about, if they call their ex-girlfriend crazy we all know she probably isn't and if she is it's probably their fault. If they talk bad about their mom, let's be honest, if they're disrespecting their mother they're not going to respect you either. If they mention girl's physical appearances when describing them. For example, "yeah, I think our waitress is that blonde chick with the big boobs." Well if that doesn't hint they're a complete f* boy then I don't know what else to tell you. And most importantly calling other women "bitches" that's just disrespectful.

Needless to say, if his conversations are similar to ones you'd hear in a frat house, ditch him.

4. Phone etiquette.

If he can't put his phone down long enough to take you to dinner then he doesn't deserve for you to be sitting across from him. If a guy is serious about you he's going to give you his undivided attention and he's going to do whatever it takes to impress you and checking snapchat on a date is not impressive. Also, notice if his phone is facedown, then there's most likely a reason for it. He doesn't trust who or what could pop up on there and he clearly doesn't want you seeing. Although I'm not particularly interested in what's popping up on their phones, putting them face down says more about the guy than you think it does.

To reiterate, it's okay to be picky ladies, you're young, there's no rush. Remember these tips next time you're on a date or seeing someone, and keep in mind: they're on their best behavior when you're dating. Then ask yourself, what will they be like when they're comfortable? Years down the road? Is this what I really want? If you ask yourself these questions you might be down the same road I have stumbled upon, being too picky.. and that's better than settling. :)

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Stop Making Instagram Your Only Outlet For Social Activism

Instagram is a great place to spread awareness, but stop confusing your desire for clout with your desire to save the world.

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Instagram is, without a doubt, one of my guiltiest pleasures. I often find myself spending way too much time on social media, caught up in the world of likes, filters, and hashtags. On the daily, I scroll through hundreds of selfies, beach pictures, happy birthday posts, and the occasional dog pictures. I am all for posting whatever you want on your Instagram account and personally hate the so-called "rules" that govern how we use social media.

Just as the use of Instagram and other forms of social media keeps growing, so has our generation's awareness of social issues. Everywhere I go, I get reminded of the issues our world is facing. Whether it be plastic, global warming, poverty, animal rights, etc., it is clear that our generation wants to see a change. Even though this is amazing, recently I've noticed that so many people my age are confusing the true desire to spread social awareness with the desire to make their Instagram account look better.

A few months ago on Earth Day, my Instagram feed was flooded with pictures of nature. Almost all of these pictures were of girls at the beach, or hiking with their friends, or even taken from the window of an airplane. While the idea of posting about how much you love the Earth and want to save it is a harmless idea, it does nothing to actually save the planet.

I fully support posting a picture of yourself at the beach, and showing off your confidence, but don't post it on Earth Day, pretending it's the ocean behind you that you care about. If you really want to save the Earth and make a difference, posting a yearly Earth Day picture of yourself is not the way to do it. Wanting likes and clout on social media is a part of how today's generation values themselves and each other, but thinking that this is actually promoting any form of social justice is plain wrong.

More recently, videos of baby calves being taken away from their mothers (highlighting the truth behind the dairy industry) have been flooding my social media feed. These videos are heartbreaking, and I am sure that the people posting them truly think they are horrific as well. Posting this type of content is a great way to spread initial awareness, but don't let it be your only outlet for promoting justice for the things you care about.

Social media keeps our world extremely interconnected, and without it, awareness of many of the problems our world is facing wouldn't reach nearly as far as it does. I'm not saying that using Instagram to spread awareness is a bad idea, I'm just saying that it shouldn't be your only outlet for doing so.

If you hate how much plastic our world consumes, go around to local stores and restaurants and ask them to cut their use of plastic. If you hate how the dairy industry treats cows, become a vegan. Promoting awareness while not actually doing anything to change the issues at hand is useless. Our generation is so strong and powerful, and we all need to stop hiding behind our desire for Instagram likes and start actually changing the things we care about.

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