(Not-So) Breaking News: Boys Are Still The Worst

(Not-So) Breaking News: Boys Are Still The Worst

What is it about them that makes them so difficult?
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This past year, I was not involved with anyone at all. Call it a cleanse, if you will, of the stupidity and overall suckiness of the male species. Now don't get me wrong! I have a ton of guy friends who are all sweet and fantastic young men but once you're on the outside of everyone's relationship problems, you see why boys kinda suck at it.

Allow me to elaborate.

Since I was not involved with anyone, I had a front row seat to all of my girl friend's boy problems. I've heard every complaint about the male species under the sun and it's made me realize that college boys are the worst. It also made me realize that we, as females, use the term "boy" far too much. "I'm talking to this boy" or "this boy keeps giving me mixed signals" and that's mistake number one. We are going after boys. We want men, ladies, not boys. The difference is in their maturity level as you will see in the following, real-life examples of why boys are the absolute worst.

As many college females have experienced and will experience (there's no avoiding it, ladies so saddle up) you will be talking to one particular guy. You will be talking, hanging out, flirting, hooking up, being each other's date to date functions and basically doing all things that fall under the definition of "dating" but you haven't defined the relationship other than the fact that you're exclusive and you like him, he likes you.

Basically, you'll suffer in relationship limbo, a place where you have no earthly idea WHAT you guys are and the second you try to DTR, he freaks out and runs away. Guys have commitment issues. Especially in college. Nobody really knows why but I guess it's been like that since the dawn of time? It's probably something in their genetic makeup to avoid at all costs, being in a relationship.

Another example of why guys are the absolute worst when it comes to all this messy dating-not dating stuff is that they, for the life of them, cannot take a hint. They don't know how to read facial cues, tones of voice or emotional cues like when to stop making fun of you when you're upset with them or when you're flirting with them. You could be walking around with a sign saying "I am flirting with you" and they still won't get it. Then they get pissed when you give up on them and try to flirt with someone else to make them jealous but then when they flirt with other girls and you get upset, they play the victim, acting like they did nothing wrong. So basically, they can't read it when you're flirting with them but they can read it loud and clear when you're flirting with someone else but it's OK when they flirt with another girl? Got it.

This past year, I re-downloaded Tinder just for poo-poos and ha-has. And yeesh, I forgot how brash and straightforward dudes are on these dating apps. I think I've heard and re-heard every pickup line ever and seen every annoying winky-faced gif ever created. I only re-joined Tinder for fun and to maybe make some new friends or have a conversation but that really wasn't the case. I also tend to swipe right on people that I know just because I personally find it amusing. One personal experience I had was I matched with a guy I went to high school with but never talked to all four years.

Ever since then, he's been bombarding me with messages on every social media platform you can think of even after I said I wasn't interested in pursuing anything with him which brings me to point three: guys try to have this hyper-masculinity when it comes to trying to get with a girl and it's actually kind of annoying so dudes who are reading this, tone down the testosterone and just be yourself.

Finally, guys, for whatever reason, think that they're God's gift to the world and the greatest thing that'll ever happen to you and that you will absolutely perish at the thought of not being with them. Some guys play this mind game where they act all loyal and loving one day and then completely 180 on you and tear you to shreds, making you cry and question what's wrong with you. Then, they come back and apologize, claiming they'll never hurt you again and you accept it. That's a sign of a toxic relationship and it needs to end completely, ASAP.

True, we can't live with 'em and we can't live without 'em but if I learned anything from my year without boys is that you do not constantly need a man to make you happy and complete. Sure, it's a nice vote of confidence to have one but this year really taught me what to look for in a guy, what's a healthy relationship and what's a toxic/fake relationship and how to handle playboys like the ones you encounter in college.

Ladies, we need to find guys who know what they want and will treat you with the respect you deserve. Which brings me back around in a full circle, date men, not boys.

Cover Image Credit: Maddy Whitfield

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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It's Time For Romance Movies To Start Portraying Love And Relationships More Accurately

It's 2019, get with the times.

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Currently, on TV and in the movies, many romance movies have the same storyline. If it's on Hallmark, two people fall in love and complete some kind of mission. If it's in the movies two people date/fall in love, something causes them to break up, then they get back together and everyone lives happily ever after.

The problem is that all of these plots are seriously unrealistic.

All of these movies and TV shows just inaccurately portray how a relationship works in real life. A real relationship takes a lot of work, time, and effort. Not everything is candy canes, unicorns, and comes so easily. There are so many other factors that people have to think about.

I really got into watching these romantic type movies when I started watching PG-13 movies. I would watch them and picture all my relationships going this way. But these movies painted the wrong picture of relationships. I'm not saying my boyfriend is a bad boyfriend at all, he is wonderful! But we both have learned it takes a lot of work, time, effort, and communication. These are things very few romance movies teach us.

Also, everyone expects things from their significant others from what they see in these movies. I was one of those people, but then real life hit. There are bills, jobs, and time management that you have to consider. This doesn't mean that my boyfriend and I don't go out, but we have to choose wisely for what we do and when we do it! We have also found fun things to do at home in place of going out in order to save money.

I understand that many people like to watch these programs and enjoy them. But there needs to be a change to accurately portray a relationship. Personally, I think this is why many young people's relationships don't last - they have watched this easy relationship develop and stay in a movie and they haven't seen what it is like in real life.

So, to those who produce these types of movies and shows, it's time that you start making things more realistic.

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