To the student who isn't ready to leave home,
After less than three weeks in my small hometown of frigid temperatures, Dunkin’ Donuts iced coffee, movie nights and aimless nightly drives, I pack my bags more sad than expected. I toss my numerous stuffed animals into another bag, and my dog anxiously runs around the house -- even the family pet knows when it’s time to leave. It’s hard to swallow the situation’s reality. I should have been excited, happy and eager to leave home for another home, but I found myself grudgingly packing away the last few weeks.
The concept of “home” is a funny thing. Home isn’t necessary a place; it’s a feeling. I find home in loved ones, small moments and silly memories. Yes, school has become another one of my homes to return to and find comfort in, but school isn’t always home. I miss home when I’m stressed, exhausted, overwhelmed and angry. I need home when I cannot handle life anymore (very dramatic, I know). I wish I was home almost always. But, when home is hours away, I find elements of home wherever I am. I realize, sitting in my room, I don’t want to leave this home yet.
We seem to make up these expectations for ourselves. I find myself thinking, “I should be happy to leave! I’m a college student with big dreams, hundreds of friends and a city to conquer. I can do anything!” Unfortunately, life isn’t so simple, and I definitely expect myself to think and act like I’m Wonder Woman. We aren’t superheroes -- we’re human.
It’s never easy to leave behind the people, places and things you love. Sometimes, you have to push these sad feelings aside, pull on your big-girl boots and drive. Literally, drive away. I use the seemingly terrible car ride to switch from “I don’t want to leave home” mode to “I miss home,” then (eventually) to “I’m ready to go to another home.” It’s this thought process, along with a kick-ass playlist, that mentally drives me home after a break. If you have to, cry to a sad song (or multiple). Bring your rugged, torn apart stuffed animal back to school. Get out your frustrations, so you can accept your home away from home with open arms.
I’d like to think I’m some sort of guru when it comes to saying “goodbye” (a long distance relationship will do that for you), but I still struggle with the final hugs and words. To others not completely happy to return to school after a long break, know you’re definitely not alone. Think of the adventures you’ll have in the future and the excitement you’ll feel after you return home. It sounds easy, but you and I know there are plenty of tears to come in the next few days -- hold it together, take a deep breath and do it all over again. Your “home” is everywhere. You just have to realize it.
- A Sad (Homesick) Student
