You've probably heard the quote, "it's OK to not be OK." It's a simple phrase, but I think that it holds some truth. As imperfect people, we face many personal struggles, challenges, and defeats… big and small. Some days I'm obsessed with the joy, love, and thankfulness I feel. But other times, I feel crushed by my own sins, mistakes, and insecurities.
The saying, "it's OK to not be OK" is comforting. It really is OK to struggle, to feel your emotions, and to not be "yourself." It's OK to not have everything figured out and settled. When we go through trials (significant trials and small ones), it can turn us into a much different version of ourselves. Trials are unexpected and new to us in each situation. They can bring isolation, fear, uncertainty, and pain. We all go through them and most likely won't be living a life of ease and joy all the time.
So yes, it's OK to not be OK.
But here's the thing.
There's a point where this phrase stops being true.
When you let "not being OK" take over your life. When you let the darkness and hurt become more powerful than anything else. When you accept defeat and allow yourself to make choices that you know are not serving you.
When you change your thoughts and start believing that nothing good will ever come through this or after it. When you turn "not being OK" into an excuse or a crutch. When you think that you are alone, too far gone, or in too much pain to ever be OK again.
Not being OK becomes not OK when it turns into hopelessness and feeling sorry for yourself. It becomes not OK when you throw in the towel and you become defined by not being OK.
I came to Auburn University as a first-semester freshman, when all of the people I graduated with were starting their second semester of college. I was instructed to take a medical leave from the school that I originally started at due to a few unresolved issues in my life. So, I was over the moon excited about being able to start at to Auburn in January.
However, the transition has been very tough. Much tougher than I expected. I found myself "not being OK" much more than I imagined. I began telling myself that my life was never going to be good, that I had messed it up too much, and was never going to be in a situation where I was truly content. But this is not the truth.
When you are not OK, you have to remember that whatever you are feeling is not the end. One of my longtime favorite quotes is (I'm a big fan of quotes as you can probably tell),
"Everything is going to be OK in the end, and if it's not OK, it's not the end."
I have just recently begun to feel real joy and love coming back into my life. Joy in where I am, who I am, and for the future. Breaking out of hard experience takes time, but you will be thankful for the joy and beauty that emerges from it. I can say confidently that joy still abounds, even in your darkness. I've learned to cling to the fact that there is hope for the future and trust that the struggle is not in vain.
Wherever you are on your life journey is where you are meant to be. You were made for a purpose, every part of you and every part of your life. I encourage you to be strong in your struggles and find comfort in the fact that you are going to leave it even better than you came into it.
I've included a few of my favorite Bible verses that can hopefully bring you some comfort if you are experiencing a situation like this. :)
"Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." — Romans 12:12
"The sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us." — Romans 8:18
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." — Jeremiah 29:11
