Often times I wonder about the things I take part in that I shouldn't take part in. I think about the things that could be better or things that I can do without to live a more happy life. They say humans will never truly be happy because we’re constantly seeking more. We think that new iPhone 7 will make us happy until the iPhone 8 is advertised.
I’m not really sure why I keep the people in my life who I really don’t want there. I guess it’s the socialization of fear. A certain culture teaches us to vent when you are feeling upset. “Talk about what you’re feeling.” When you are upset with someone: “Let them know and proceed to figure out solutions you all should take to make that relationship better.” How many times have we heard these similar forms of advice? Many. We are taught to suppress feelings we have and cater to others’. But what if you genuinely don’t want to make that relationship better but, you want to give it up. Some may say, you should always try to make a relationship work while other perspectives may argue it’s easier to just kick them to the curb. No matter the reason whether it’s small, big, even petty you have the right control the environment you wish to exist in.
There is sometimes a stigma placed upon people who give up. They are looked at as weak or inferior. We don’t see why anyone should give. We should accept that there are people who get rid of things, easily. There are those who try and make use of the useless and those get rid of the uselessness.
I guess you can say that i’m type of person who gets rid of things when they longer have use. I need space and clarity. When I no longer where those pants and that shirt anymore, I donate it to charity. When I no longer use that conditioner that doesn’t enhance my beautiful curls any longer, I give it to my mom. When I no longer use that tubberware that takes up a whole covert, I throw them away. When I no longer connect with you, I disappear.
Being this way has prevented many challenges in my life. I no longer have to deal with being afraid to loose things. I accept the things I can not change. As we know suffering comes from non acceptance. I no longer hold on to grudges, and other emotional discrepancies. I am weightless like paper. You will not stick to me, you will slip away like water on skin. I am resistant to negativity.
I gave up on a lot of things. I gave up on that friendship that wasn’t working. I gave up you because you couldn’t do me right. I gave up meat and dairy because it hurts the environment I am a part of.
When I spoke to others about needing to get rid of those in my life who bring me down many shared the same response. These responses were all surrounding the common theme of trying to make the relationships work or come to some sort of compromise. However, sometimes compromise is obsolete. Sort of like beating the dead horse. The horse is already dead so why be charged with overkill? It is nothing wrong with not wanting people in your life any longer. We are dynamic creatures. We are constantly going through changes. We are expected to outgrow situations, ideas, habits and sometimes people. It’s nothing wrong breaking up with these elements, it’s healthy. Humans are the only creatures that are able to reflect. Having this privilege has allowed us to prosper through adversities.
I got rid of my social media accounts because they no longer served me purpose. I would sign on and see unscrupulous things being posted. We are far too developed as a nation to be so underdeveloped on valuing what’s important. Every time I ‘d signed on to social media I had become more and more saddened of the focus of our people. I guess it’s easy for me to say because I saw technology advanced versus others who grew up and technology was already advanced.
When I would sign on to my instagram account I thought “wow everyone looks the same” We live in a culture where makeup is glorified and mistaken for other things we associate our values with. We place our insecurities, values, feelings, and voids on materialistic things unconsciously and expect our feelings of insecurity to go away. But when we get that new shirt, or that new phone we like it for a while then we feel empty again.
I did something new. I leave my phone home during the day. Leaving my phone home during the day has allowed me to be more productive and more aware of the things that are happening around me. I notice the small things. When people say “how are you?” I give them authentic responses. I do not feel like that zombie who has to report to objects throughout the day. My phone started to become a burden to me so I moderate its use.
No, I am not anti social media, anti makeup or anti technology I just want to be liberated from the things that make me feel like I’m not living right.
Take a careful look at your surroundings. Ask yourself “am I living right?” Is there something that you no longer want to be apart of even something that you want to do, do it. Life is too short to pretend and it’s too short not to take initiative. If you do not want to deal with something then don’t. Do not feel pressure to conform to the norms that society has placed on us. If it is not working then don’t force it to work. Of course you should always pursue your dreams and if you fail try again but, if something no longer makes you happy and it’s use(less) then know that it’s okay to give up.
