I have not had good experiences dating Christian guys. I hate to say it, but it's true. I'm not saying this is a rule rather than the exception, but in my experience, every Christian guy I have dated has made me feel ignored, manipulated, or like I had to take control of the relationship for it to go anywhere. As a Christian woman, that is extremely discouraging. It is discouraging to walk into a church gathering and see guys and girls sitting on opposite sides of the room, not talking. It is discouraging when the Christian guys you know, admit that they never ask girls on dates. The Bible calls us to date within the body of Christ but it is very hard to do that when you feel like the only men who treat you well are not Christians. Having gone to a Christian high school, I remember that every single homecoming or prom, the guys would stand in a big group together, and not even acknowledge their dates most of the time. I mean, I know it's high school, but come ooooon.

And I am not saying that I know why this is the case in a lot of Christian circles. I don't know and I won't claim to have an answer. But what I do know is that I want a man who can pursue me in a way that reflects the way Christ pursues us, and I am willing to wait for that. But that doesn't mean it's not discouraging in the mean time.

I think there's a lot of necessarily fear about dating among young Christians. There's a lot of talk about boundaries and a never ending list of "dont do this" and "don't do that".

I'm not saying that those aren't good things in the right context, but it can get kinda stressful. But honestly, dating shouldn't be that scary, it shouldn't be that stressful, and it shouldn't be that awkward. There's a lot of good that can come out of getting to know someone on a deep level. It's an important part of growing up. It's shows you how you relate to others, how to deal with conflict, among other important lessons.

It's supposed to be fun!

A lot of girls I know have expressed frustration because the guy they were interested in never made a move, or was pretty passive in the way he pursued her. The knee jerk reaction as a girl is to supplement for the lack of pursuit by pursuing the guy. But a guy that doesn't pursue the relationship in a dating context, won't pursue the relationship in any more serious stage of the relationship. Its not fun to hear, but it's true.

So guys, you have a lot to offer the women around you. Show the women around you an example of a Christ like leader both in friendship and in a daring relationship context.